


season three

by rudeandginger



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 13:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 35,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20340511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudeandginger/pseuds/rudeandginger
Summary: Season 3 without anything involving actual canon, because Supercorp is way more fun than Villain of the Week.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sorry for my radio silence over the last two-ish years. Multiple traumatic things occurred in my life, one of those being attracting a stalker whose actions forced me to hide my fics and go silent. He has been caught, indicted, and sent to prison, thankfully. So here I am, back on my bullshit.
> 
> I'm still awful at titles.
> 
> If Kara Danvers is the sun, Lena Luthor is a black hole. Coping in healthy ways has never occurred to the Luthor family.
> 
> Buckle up. This is going to get -nasty-. I break the toys repeatedly. But you know me. Everything is okay in the end.
> 
> CW: heavy drug/alcohol use, meaningless promiscuity, terrible self-destructive behaviours, PTSD/anxiety/mental illness.

Lena couldn't feel. She couldn't feel anything anymore.

This was different from Lex going to jail, from sending Lillian to jail. Both of those times, she'd shut off her feelings due to anger. She had compartmentalized the emotions until they petered out from neglect. Lex and Lillian had done terrible things, they deserved everything that happened to them. Rhea deserved to be struck down as well.

Lena had also killed Mon-El, Kara's boyfriend. The device she had made killed Rhea, which she did not feel bad about, but when they were trapped on the Daxamite ship together, she saw good in him. He wanted to be a hero, just like Kara. And it made sense, Kara wanting to be with someone as strong as she was, someone who had the alien connection. It hurt to see them together, because Lena had a stupid, stupid crush on her best friend, but she had still been the one to kill the person Kara loved.

And Jack? Jack was an innocent who only wanted to help save the world. Used and abused by someone he called a friend, someone who had wormed her way in after Lena left. Lena couldn't help but blame herself. If she'd stayed, if she'd even convinced Jack to come with her, work for L Corp and continue his research, this could have been avoided. Never mind being the literal agent of his death with the override. So Lena killed him. Such was her life. Everyone she cared about, everyone she -loved- ended up dead or in prison. Or if they were loved by someone she loved. Not even one degree of separation could save people from the Luthor wave of destruction and doom.

So even if she -could-, Lena had decided not to care anymore. About anyone. She had a business to run and much to atone for through it. But personally? She might as well be stone.

So she used the delicate glass tube (currency being for proles) and snorted the line of white powder on the high-top in front of her, feeling the drug spread through her system almost immediately.

"Better?" asked the slim blonde with blue-green eyes, placing her hand on Lena's lower back. Lena didn't know who she was and she didn't give a shit. She was there for the rich clientele of this club only, and Lena didn't care to find out if she was there consensually. Not today. But the woman batted her eyes and slipped closer to Lena, nibbling on her neck as blonde curls fell into her cleavage, and -no Lena Luthor does not have a fucking type-.

Lena let the woman, whose name was Jade or Rose or some other meaningless pseudonym, take her on the couch, whispering how pretty she is, how delicious, how she just wants to keep going all night. Lena let her body be used, let the pleasure course through her. She only kissed when kissed first, touched when Jade-Rose-whoever took her hands and placed them on her body, and told herself that she feels something. She feels the woman on top of her. She likes this.

She was lying.

It was second nature for Kara to monitor Lena's heartbeat. They were close now, or so Kara had thought. But Lena kept shoving her away, answering texts with "I'm so busy today, can't meet you" and letting calls go to voicemail. If Kara wanted to chat about inane things, Lena would reply, but they hadn't really seen one another in the weeks following the Daxamite invasion. Kara had brought lunch a few times, but Lena had always been distracted, working with one hand while shoveling food in with the other, barely speaking to Kara.

"I'm not going anywhere," she’d told Lena. And it was true. The problem was that Lena was the one who was leaving. It broke Kara's heart, but she had no idea how to fix it, no idea how to bring her dearest friend back.

Then Lena's heartbeat sped up dangerously. Kara listened for a moment, gauging what it could mean. Elevated for that long, that steadily, and then it clicked for her. -That's not duress. That's drug use.- She sighed. -Oh, Lena. Please stay safe.-

She sat straight up on her couch, listening carefully, until Lena's heart returned to normal, and then tapered down into sleep. Only then could she lay down on her bed and close her eyes, the silent tears slipping down her cheeks.

~~~

Lena tried finding a man who resembled Jack, who let her call him anything she wanted as long as he was compensated well enough. He let her run her fingers through his beard, let her whimper into his ear that she's so -fucking- sorry, filled her with something she hadn't had since she left Metropolis. But it wasn't enough. The burning ache low in her abdomen subsided for a time, and when it returned she called him again, but that was all he did for her. Scratched the itch. They would do lines together, but it still didn't help. She never felt a goddamn thing, no matter how many times she came, how high she got.

Then, one night, while they lay there, she caught him looking at her with concern. With pity. He didn't say anything, just stroked her face gently and looked down at her.

She never called him again.

She went back to the girl at the club, whose name was in fact Jade, as she learned through multiple visits. “Just act like you love me,” Lena told her.

Jade batted her eyes, slipped her arms around Lena's waist, and leaned in, mouthing at her neck. “Of course I love you. You're so sweet to me.”

Lena sighed, threading her fingers into Jade's hair at the nape of her neck. “Can I call you another name?”

“Of course,” Jade purred into her ear. “You know you're my favourite? I turn down others for you.”

Lena sighed. “I...can I call you Lara?” She could only get that close. Not the real name. The fantasy that never could be. The one she'd held so close for so long, until he’d won her heart and then died. Lena never had a chance and she never would. Now, she felt nothing. It didn't matter. But with Jade, maybe she could send herself back to the dreams.

“Yeah, baby,” Jade nuzzled under her ear. “I'm your Lara. I love you.”

Lena shivered and a tiny whimper escaped her throat.

“Oh no,” Jade-Lara responded lovingly, “don't do that, baby. Just be happy with me. You deserve to be happy.”

“I don't think that's possible anymore, Lara.” Lena kissed her like she was drowning, because she was.


	2. Chapter 2

//Lena, please come over.//

//I have meetings through the night.//

//I don't know what to do anymore.//

//Is something wrong? You could call Alex.//

//Alex can't help me.//

//I'm sure you have someone who can. You have a lot of friends.//

//Please Lena. Please.//

//I can have some ice cream delivered. Would that help?//

//Can I please call? Just for a minute?//

//All right.//

"Lena," Kara choked out when the call picked up.

"Kara, what is it?" Lena tried infusing her tone with something, anything. She failed miserably.

"I just miss you," Kara managed to say.

"I miss you too," Lena said softly, surprised to find that she -did- mean it.

"When can we see each other again? You're my -best- friend and I haven't seen you in -weeks-."

"I don't know," Lena replied. "I'm just...busy these days."

"I'll do anything. -Anything,-" Kara said desperately. "Just tell me when and where to be. -Please.-"

Lena sighed. "When I can. Okay?"

"Lena," and then Kara was sobbing.

Lena closed her eyes, feeling a stab in her chest. That was new. That hadn't happened in quite awhile. "Kara, please don't cry. I’m not worth it."

"Yes you are," Kara wailed. "You're worth it, you're -worth- it, you're my best -friend!-" She rocked back and forth, her free arm tight over her stomach, as she cried. She focused on Lena's heartbeat, faster now. -Come back to me...-

Lena's office phone rang, and Kara heard it through the cell connection.

"Kara, I have to go," Lena said.

"Can I call you again soon?" Kara tried snuffling back the tears.

"We can try. I'll talk to you later." Lena hung up, took a deep breath, and turned on her office speakerphone.

As much as she wanted to hold on to the spark Kara ignited, it blew out moments later and she was back to cold, unfeeling stone.

Lena wanted nothing more than to make out with Jade that night, kiss her deeply and hold her close. Jade didn't complain, of course. It was easy money, something she didn't have to degrade herself for. And Jade did like Lena, liked her being a woman. Gentle, thoughtful, and never rough. But she's so troubled, Jade mused when their sessions were over. More money in her pocket for sure, but Jade found herself caring, actually -caring- about a client. Dangerous for a sex worker, she knew, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was because Lena most often wanted simple comfort, not ridiculous sex games like others, and her eyes were always filled with pain that Jade wanted to soothe away. Which she knew was wrong, that empathy for clients is almost always misplaced, but she just couldn't help it. Lena was so vulnerable, what else could she do? So Jade hoarded her, canceled waiting men if she saw Lena's name on the list, taking her before any of her co-workers had the chance. Lena always put in for her, after all. So Jade did what she could, whatever Lena asked of her, and wondered silently who Lara was and why she'd clearly wrecked the life of the woman who loved her.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't intentional. It really wasn't. She just misjudged the amount of medication it took to send her to sleep, that's all.


	4. Chapter 4

When Lena regained consciousness, she was in what appeared to be a hospital, but not any hospital in National City that she knew of.

"Good, you're awake," said an angry voice.

Lena rolled her head to the side carefully, in the direction of the voice. Her throat was raspy and her head felt close to explosion.

Supergirl was standing there, arms crossed, looking -furious-.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Lena's question was barely a question, stated so flatly.

"You died," Supergirl spat.

"Did I. Whoops." Lena scoffed. "If this is heaven, there's way too much pain."

"Your own products brought you back," Supergirl snapped. "Luckily for -all- of us."

"I can assure you any death on my part was an accident," Lena said. "Although, how did you know?"

"Your heart stopped -beating-," Supergirl said.

"How would you know?"

"Because I -always- listen for it," Supergirl hissed.

Lena frowned, not comprehending. "You have better things to do than listen for me."

Supergirl snatched something out of her cape and pressed it to her face.

Lena's eyes widened slightly as she saw the glasses on Kara's face, but that was due to actually being shown what she already knew. "Oh. I wondered when you were going to tell me."

"You knew?!" Kara tore the glasses off again. "You -knew-."

"Glasses are a terrible disguise," Lena sniffed.

"Lena, look at me." Kara stepped over and took Lena's hand. "Tell me -why-."

"I told you, it was an accident. I'd built up a tolerance and I overestimated it." Lena sighed. "My intent was just to sleep."

"That medication reacts really badly with cocaine," Kara said softly. "You've been doing a -lot- of that too."

"So?" Lena's snappishness was hiding a whole lot of sudden terror. Kara had known about the drug use. What else had she learned and kept to herself? Did she know about Jade? Why hadn't she said anything? -Because you wouldn't have let her if she'd tried,- her inner voice replied tiredly.

"Maybe some of us don't want to -watch- you die," Kara replied, unshed tears in her voice. "Maybe some of us -love- you."

"That's a severe mistake," Lena said, rolling her head to face away from Kara.

"Why?" Kara couldn't help the tears brimming over.

"Love is wasted on Luthors." Lena delivered that with no emotion whatsoever.

"When you can get out of that bed and take a freaking punch, you're going to take a freaking -punch- for that," Kara managed to choke out, hanging onto Lena's limp hand.

"Sure," Lena replied easily. That didn't bother her. What bothered her were the hot tears dripping onto her skin. Kara was crying over her. She wasn't worth being cried over. But she didn't have the wherewithal to draw her hand away.

"I almost lost my -sister-," Kara sobbed. "Then I almost lost my -home-, -again-! Now I almost lost -you-. I don't want to almost lose anyone else!"

"I am sorry for hurting you," Lena said. Which was true. She'd never wanted to hurt anyone else. Just herself.

"I'm going to punch you, and then you're coming home with me," Kara whispered.

"Kara, your apartment isn't big enough for two."

"Too bad. You're coming home with -me-. That's the end of it. I can't trust that you're safe unless I'm the one watching you."

"You really don't have to go to all the trouble," Lena said. "I'm sure you already threw out the prescription. I won't get any more."

"No, you'll just find -another one- to overdose on," Kara retorted. "You're coming home with -me-."

Lena sighed and let her have the issue. Luthors shouldn't argue with Supers, after all.

~~~

Lena was released to Kara's care and allowed herself to be herded to the cozy apartment. What was different from normal was that the kitchen appeared to be completely stripped down, and there was a folding cot piled with blankets and pillows just outside the bedroom area.

"So here's how this works," Kara said, taking Lena's bag from her and placing it on the seat at the foot of the bed. "We stay here. I had Hector set up full access to L Corp through VPN for you, as well as bringing your office machines here." She waved over at the area near the TV, which was set up akin to an office. "You get the real bed, and I get the cot, which if I'm honest with you, I want to switch forever. I think I need a new mattress if I'd rather sleep on a cot!" Kara laughed. "The fridge has some things in it for you. I even got -kale-. Well, it says kale on the bag. And it's totally all yours."

Lena gave the barest hint of a smile at that.

"If I have to go, I'm going to get someone to be here with you," Kara said. "I hate that I have to, but you know why. If it isn't someone you know, they'll mind their own business, okay?"

Lena sighed. "Okay." She had no room to argue or haggle. There wouldn't be a point anyway.

"We can totally go out and do whatever you want, of course," Kara said. "I just have to go with you. Or someone else."

"Yeah," Lena replied in a monotone.

"And...here," Kara said, picking up a well-loved stuffed giraffe and holding it out to Lena.

"What is it?" Lena took the plushie.

"Her name is Bertha," Kara said. "She's been holding secrets for me since I landed on Earth. She'll hold your secrets too, if you tell them to her."

"Digital recorder?" Lena squeezed the giraffe's body experimentally.

Kara huffed. "-No!- You just tell them to her and she -keeps- them. Bertha won't tell anybody. Will you, Bertha?" She reached out, making the giraffe shake its head.

Lena let out a soft laugh. "I see."

"Have you never had someone like Bertha?" Kara tilted her head, regarding Lena with sudden understanding.

Lena sighed. "No. Not as such." The teddy bear she'd arrived in the Luthor household with had disappeared sometime after her seventh birthday, because Lillian thought plushies were for babies.

Kara pulled Lena (and Bertha) into a hug. "Well, now you do. She can really be calming. You'll see."

Lena placed her free arm around Kara's back. "Okay. I'll give it a try."

Kara let out a happy sigh.

Lena frowned, letting Kara go and tilting her head. “What?”

“You let me hug you. And you hugged back. I was so worried you wouldn’t be okay with that.” Kara looked into Lena’s eyes.

Lena felt her insides tug at each other. Kara was -so- sincere. The only sincere thing in her life, if she was honest about it. “I’m okay with you touching me.” She was surprised at how steady her voice sounded.

“I’m gonna hug you again, then, okay?”

Lena nodded, and Kara pulled her close.

Kara gave the -best- hugs.


	5. Chapter 5

The first time Kara flew away as Supergirl, Alex was deposited on the sofa not thirty seconds later.

“Don’t you have to help? With that, I mean?” Lena looked confused.

“I’m on comms in case things go south,” Alex replied. “But Kara thought it’d be better if someone you knew was here, until you get used to it.”

“You don’t like me,” Lena said flatly. She retreated to the furthest chair in the area, folding herself into the smallest, most defensive ball she could.

“Not true,” Alex said. “We really have to talk sometime about how you keep hurting my sister, seemingly without knowing it, but she really cares about you. I kind of have to as well.”

“Don’t force yourself to do anything,” Lena said quickly.

“I could have told her no,” Alex said, shrugging. She picked up the tv remote. “You wanna watch something? I doubt she’ll be gone for a whole movie, but maybe an episode of a show?”

“Sure. And I need to order dinner,” Lena replied, pulling out her phone. “We were going to but then she got the call.”

“You guys don’t cook?” Alex frowned in confusion.

“I am deemed to be a -risk- with sharp objects,” Lena said bitterly. “No knives.”

Alex looked stricken. “Oh crap, I forgot. They’re all in -my- drawers, too.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Have to do it by the books until someone actually -believes- it was an accident.”

“Taking too many pills may have been an accident, but everything you were doing before that wasn’t,” Alex said.

“What do -you- know?”

“Everything. We hacked you at the DEO while you were busy being revived.”

Lena sighed and looked out the window.

“Kara doesn’t know. Well, she doesn’t know about the services you used or the places you frequented. She does know about everything that messed with your heart rate, though.”

“She says she’s always listening to my heart. I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“I’ve never been so scared for my sister as when she told me she couldn’t hear you anymore and she was going to check on you. Then, her screaming...I had to turn off the comm,” Alex said, shuddering and hugging herself.

“What?”

“I’ve never heard her that freaked out, scared, upset before,” Alex said softly. “If I never hear it again it’ll be too soon.”

Lena just looked at Alex.

“She did CPR on you til we could get there,” Alex whispered. “I’m not sure how she managed the right amount of strength for chest compressions, as messed up as she was. Then she crumpled and screamed in agony until we got you to breathe again. No one could stop her. No one.”

“Jesus,” Lena managed to whisper.

“She didn’t leave your side until you woke up,” Alex said, her gaze far away. “We couldn’t persuade her. Nothing worked. I just brought her food so she wouldn't make herself sick while she waited.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena said.

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” Alex said firmly, coming back to the present. “I’m not the one whose life you almost crashed and burned. You know she says you’re her best friend?”

“Oh.” Lena had no idea how to respond to -that- either. Kara had said it to -her-, sure, but to others? Acknowledging the bond? That was unexpected.

“You don’t deserve that,” Alex said, without malice in her tone. “She deserves better. But you’re her best friend. You need to find whatever it is inside you that’ll bring you back. Kara deserves someone who puts in as much effort as she does. I know you feel empty, like nothing will ever feel like anything again, but you can get over it. I did.”

“What? You?”

“There was a period in my life where I was a party animal. Did nothing but bounce from one crappy job to another just so I could afford shots, drugs, whatever kept me from remembering that I couldn’t feel inside. Our parents kept it from Kara as best they could, but she doesn’t know what I really did those years.”

“Why not?” Lena tried for softness in her tone and was pleased that it worked, she wasn’t flat and numb.

“Because it was about wasting my youth protecting her,” Alex said, no emotion in her voice. “I didn’t have fun, I didn’t have boyfriends, I didn’t do anything except help Kara blend in.”

“Boyfriends? Aren’t you with that detective?”

“Realizing I’m gay is a recent thing,” Alex said. “Maybe if I’d had time as a normal high schooler, I would have figured it out earlier. Anyway. I was lost for a few years in my bitterness, because I resented my life. I resented Kara. But then I was basically forced into the DEO, and I found my purpose there. I realized that holding anything against my sister was useless and that she was the best thing in my life. She still is.”

Lena nodded. “Me too.”

Alex frowned, and put her hand to her ear. “Okay. Good job, guys.” She looked at Lena. “That’s my ride.”

Kara flew through the window a second later. “Whew. Hey guys. Sorry, it was just a little thing. Aliens getting scrappy and trying to blow each other up.”

Alex and Lena both nodded in understanding.

“Ready to go, sis?” Kara held out her arms for Alex.

“I wish we could figure out a more dignified way to do this,” Alex grumbled as Kara picked her up.

“Be back in a jiff, Lena,” Kara said, winking at her.

Lena gave a half-hearted smile, all she could manage. “I won’t move.”

When Kara flew back in two minutes later, Lena was true to her word, still huddled in the far chair. “Okay, you. First things first. Did you order?”

Lena’s eyes widened. “Oh crap. I was talking with Alex and I forgot!” She looked down at the phone in her hand. “Doing it right now.”

Kara walked over to Lena and dropped a kiss on her head. “You’re amazing. I’m gonna change out of this.”

“You act like it doesn’t take you literal nanoseconds,” Lena said as she dialed the number.

When Lena had placed the order and promised a hefty tip if they moved it up to immediate delivery, she looked up to see Kara grinning at her. “What?”

“Come here, you.” Kara beckoned, and when Lena stood up, enveloped her in a tight, warm hug.

Lena remembered what Alex said about putting in effort, and actually hugged back instead of just limply hanging on.

“Thank you for not doing anything while I was dropping Alex off,” Kara said into Lena’s ear.

“I want to earn your trust back,” Lena whispered, knowing she would cry if she said it aloud. “Plus, it was like a minute and a half.”

“Oh, Lena,” Kara sighed. “We’ll get there. Together.”

Lena laid her head on Kara’s shoulder, adjusting her hold so it was more comfortable for them both. “The funny thing is, I actually believe you.”

“Together,” Kara reiterated, reaching up to stroke Lena’s hair.

Lena sighed, leaning in and letting Kara support her weight since she clearly wasn't being let go.

“Wanna sit?” Kara asked, delighted that Lena was relaxing against her.

“You can’t...you can’t hold me so...like -this-, if we sit,” Lena whispered. She wasn't used to admitting that touch felt good, and the hug was so warm and close and felt like no other she'd had before. She didn't want it to end, but she had no idea how to ask for that.

“Ha.”

Lena was barely aware of being moved before they were on the couch, Kara’s arm still tightly around her as she sat in Kara’s lap. Her head was still on Kara’s shoulder, too, and she could feel Kara's fingers in her hair. “...I’ll have to get used to this super speed thing, huh.”

“If you don’t like it,” Kara began.

“No, no, I just...have to get used to it,” Lena said. “I want you to. It’s cool.”

“Cool, huh?” Kara smiled down at Lena.

“Totally cool. Awesome. One might even say super,” Lena bantered.

“Oh, it’s not super. Definitely not. I’m just Kara Danvers, Catco reporter.” Kara laughed.

“It’s not any better of a lie than it’s ever been,” Lena slid her arm around Kara’s shoulder, letting her hand rest carefully on the back of Kara’s neck.

“When did you figure it out?”

“When you flew to my office on a bus. Confirmed when you were having coffee with Kara Danvers late at night and just happened to catch me as I was thrown to my death. And then I've been close enough to you enough times that the scar above your eye is obvious.”

Kara laughed. “What can I say, I’m a sucker for a pretty face. You were so welcoming, and I was trying to make the best impression ever. So I forgot how to talk for a minute.”

“You’ve -never- forgotten how to talk, Kara Danvers,” Lena replied, laughing just a little herself.

“And then, I just wanted to protect you. The target on your back is big enough without everyone knowing you're Supergirl's best friend.”

“But that's -my- choice to make, Kara. I don't care who knows. I can have two best friends. Supergirl -and- Kara Danvers. Maybe I just have a type.” Lena smirked at that. She absolutely did have a type.

“You know, Danvers is my Earth last name,” Kara said suddenly.

“Want to tell me your Kryptonian one, then?” Lena remembered something Lex had told her once. “Is it El, like Superman?”

“Close. The last names there didn’t work quite like Earth ones. I'm from the House of El, but my full name is Kara Zor-El.”

“Kara Zor-El,” Lena tried saying it the way Kara did, with an interesting roll to the consonants, but knew she fell well short. “Tell me again, the way it really sounds.”

“Kara...Zor-El,” Kara said slowly.

“So the way everyone says Kara normally…”

“Is kind of flat, yeah,” Kara replied. “Human tongues can’t really pronounce Kryptonian. Not the nuances.”

“Kara,” Lena attempted. “Ugh, you’d think this would be -easier-.”

“Kara. Ka-ra.” She pronounced it slowly and carefully. “I won’t think any less of you if you can’t duplicate an alien tongue, you know.”

“Kara,” and Lena sat up and smiled, pleased because that -did- sound better.

“Closest anyone’s come since I got here,” Kara smiled back.

“Okay, say your last name, -Kara-,” Lena said.

“Zor-El.”

They practiced until the doorbell rang, signaling their dinner. Lena was happy with her progress, and she didn’t miss the little smile that graced Kara’s lips every time she said her full name as best she could.


	6. Chapter 6

The next time Supergirl had to go deal with something that was longer than ten minutes, Maggie Sawyer was the one deposited on the couch.

“Oh boy, Officer Friendly’s here,” Lena said flatly. But she didn’t move from her end of the couch. She’d unofficially claimed the side as hers.

“Yep. Act up, I’ll arrest you again,” Maggie replied evenly. “But my only gun is biometric, so you won’t wanna try for it.”

“I figured they’d keep anything remotely violent or sharp for you back at the DEO.”

“Yeah, I’m down a few assets. But I said, and rightfully so, that your mom’s a stone cold crazy bitch who might send idiots through the window the second Supergirl leaves and I’d rather be armed.”

“Please do -not- call Lillian Luthor my relation. Of any sort.” Lena didn't mean for her tone to turn to -pure- ice, but she hoped Maggie wouldn't take offense.

Maggie nodded. “Understood.” She heard the pain behind the coldness of Lena's voice, and knew the ice wasn't for her at all.

“We were watching a show, but I don’t want to keep going without her. Can we turn on the news?”

“Of course, whatever. You can drive, this is pretty much -your- house.”

Lena flipped to Catco News, which was, of course, covering the major building fire that had summoned Supergirl. She held her breath every time Kara flew back inside the burning tower, not daring to breathe again until she’d made her way back out with more frightened residents or pets.

Maggie watched Lena. She was an old hand at the game of love these days, and she knew what Lena was thinking, even if she didn’t want to describe it as such to herself. -Yep, Little Luthor is head over designer heels for Little Danvers.- And given what she’d heard Kara say at the DEO on multiple occasions, she was pretty sure the reverse was true as well.

“Hey, your bestie is totally taking care of it,” Maggie said after a moment. “ Breathe, Lena.”

“She puts her own life on the line -so- much,” Lena replied softly.

“Not this time,” Maggie said. “She can hold her breath for a lot longer than us, and she’s essentially fireproof.”

“Wait, Kryptonians are fireproof?!” Lena was shocked. Lex’s research hadn’t mentioned that.

“No, the suit is,” Maggie said. “She’s fire-resistant, though. Which is good for her hair, because it’d be a shame to mess up those curls.”

Lena nodded. “Yeah, her hair is really pretty.”

They watched the news for awhile longer, as the building was deemed by Supergirl to be completely empty after rescuing a pet goldfish during her last run, and the fire crews were beginning to get the blaze under control.

“Hey, Lena?”

“Yeah?”

“You should tell her how you feel.”

“Huh?”

“-Just- best friends don’t look at each other like that.”

“What?!”

“That’s all I’m saying.”

Kara flew in a second later, smoky and sooty. “All right, Maggie, back to Alex you go.”

“VIP travel, gotta love it,” Maggie smirked, winking at Lena before almost hopping into Kara’s arms.

“Back in a minute, Lena,” Kara smiled. “I have to debrief really quickly, but you’ll be fine for a few minutes, won’t you?”

Lena smiled as sincerely as she could. “Yeah.”

As Kara zoomed off, Lena padded into the bedroom and retrieved Bertha from the bed. She didn’t sleep -with- the little giraffe, but it actually felt soothing to have it on the bed while she slept. Lena picked the plushie up and hugged it close. Bertha would hold secrets, Kara had said. Lena had checked the giraffe multiple times for any kind of bug or other equipment, coming up empty. So she clutched it close, putting her lips to the fabric ear.

“Bertha, I’m in love with your mom,” she whispered. And once she said it, actually -said- it, she sat down on the bed heavily with a sigh. “I’m scared.”

Lena held Bertha close, squeezing her hard, for a moment more, and then put her safely back on the bed. She stood up, knowing that she only had a few minutes before Kara was back, so she had to make everything count, do everything by the book to really earn the trust Kara was placing in her by waiting to debrief until retrieving her sitter.

The only thing Lena had done when Kara returned, as far as she knew, was flip the TV back to the streaming service they’d been watching the show on and order some pizza.

“Lena, you’re seriously the best,” Kara gushed after learning food was on the way.

Lena gave a halfway smile. “You have to be hungry after that. I just wanted to make sure it was taken care of.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be taking care of -you-,” Kara argued good naturedly, flopping down onto the couch next to Lena and snuggling up.

“I don’t like following rules, you know that,” Lena bantered, letting herself relax against Kara.

“Hmph,” was Kara’s only answer as she reached over and pressed play on the remote since Lena was clearly dawdling.


	7. Chapter 7

“Look, I know it's not the therapist,” Lena said firmly, “but please, trust me. I need to go meet someone there. I will -never- be alone, and I promise I won't do anything except maybe have a drink.”

“Business?”

Kara looked so trusting. Lena hated herself, had never hated herself more than that instant. But she wasn't lying. She wouldn't be alone, and she wouldn't use any substances, not even alcohol. “Yeah. Business.”

“Okay. Just for the evening?”

“I won't be gone too long. Maybe you can catch up on Catco stuff.” Lena wasn't sure which would kill her first, lying to Kara or the feelings she couldn't hide any longer. She had to get the dangerous ones out or she would explode. And there was only one person Lena believed was safe for that.

Kara nodded. “Good idea.”

Jade was completely unprepared for her favourite client that night. Lena was an absolute wreck, dissolving into tears the second Jade slid onto her lap and took Lena's face in her hands. “Come on, baby, I'm gonna cry too.”

Lena wrapped her arms around Jade's waist, and reminded herself that the woman couldn't possibly know why the blue and red outfit she was wearing was upsetting Lena further. “Just act like you love me, Lara…”

Jade felt horrible about it, having sex with a client who was too upset to consent regardless of how she insisted she needed to be touched, but by the end, Lena had composed herself, cuddling her close. “You okay now, baby?”

“As long as you love me, Lara.” Lena nuzzled into Jade's neck and twirled the ends of her hair around her fingers. She could do this. She could. Her safety valve had been released. Jade didn't care who she was. Jade just wanted to earn her money. Lena did her best to ignore the care, what felt like pity, in Jade's touch. She told herself, again, that she was overreacting.

“Course I do. Don't you give me everything? Who couldn't love you?” Jade skimmed her fingernails over Lena's back. It wasn't pity she tried to make Lena feel. It -was- care, however. She only wanted Lena to feel safe and cared for. -She deserves to be actually loved,- Jade thought, not for the first time.

“You'd be surprised.” Lena sighed, and kissed her.

Jade officially hated whoever it was she was standing in for. She was absolutely too attached to her client and she knew it. But any resolve she had on that front fell away when Lena looked at her with such -pain- in her eyes that she couldn't hide. Needing sex was one thing. Needing someone to pretend to love you was quite another. Jade would have run long before this, passed her off to another coworker, but she couldn't. Not in good conscience.

~~~

Kara was afraid of the nights. It wasn’t every night, but Lena had nightmares that she didn’t wake up from. Kara parceled out the medication Lena’s psychiatrist ordered carefully, keeping it on her person or at the DEO to make sure Lena wouldn’t freak out and try to medicate herself, and they did include sedation to make sure Lena’s circadian rhythm remained diurnal. But that was the problem, Kara thought. Lena was drugged to sleep and so she didn’t wake up when the terror came for her. Kara would wake up, sit on the bed, and stroke Lena's face gently while murmuring that it was okay, everything was fine, and she was just dreaming. Eventually Lena would go back to normal sleep, having never fully awakened. Kara didn't know if Lena remembered any of it, as she never discussed it in the morning. Still, Kara couldn't bear Lena in pain or upset, so she did the best she could.

Sometimes it was Lex Lena sobbed for, sometimes Jack, and then there had been the -terrifying, horrible- occasion when Kara’s name escaped her lips as she thrashed and screamed. Kara -had- woken Lena up then, shaking her frantically and finally pulling her out of bed and hauling her upright til she opened her eyes and looked confused, both as to why she was out of bed and why there were tears running down her cheeks and Kara’s. Until the dream reared its ugly head again and she kept crying. “Kara…”

“You were screaming for me,” Kara sobbed. “You were screaming and it sounded like maybe I’d died in your dream and I had to wake you up to make sure you knew I was -here-.”

Lena realized her legs were wrapped around Kara’s hips somehow and that, of course, her super strong friend was holding her easily. She threw her arms around Kara’s shoulders and burrowed into her neck. “You were, you -were- dead and I could have saved you, but I didn’t!”

“I’m here,” Kara gasped, holding Lena tightly, one hand moving to the back of her neck and winding the fingers in her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I promised you!” The urge to kiss Lena suddenly baffled her. Kara wanted to pull the damp, tangled hair away from her skin and drop kisses on any part of Lena's face or neck she could reach, willing her to believe that she was real and alive and staying right there. And, well, that was not only inappropriate with one's best friend, but inappropriate when one's best friend (and only that) was falling apart in one's arms. Kara squished the urge firmly, reminding herself that she was also completely freaked out and prone to rash decisions. She just held on as tightly as she dared, transmitting security without hurting her physically.

They clung to each other, crying out what both realized was a mutual fear of being separated forever, until they calmed down enough that Lena let her legs fall so she was standing again.

“You were -dead- and I really -was- raving mad, just like Lex,” Lena whispered, not letting go.

“I’m not dead. -This- is real life and I’m right here,” Kara said. “You’re not gonna go mad like he did. Because I’ll never leave you.”

“You can’t promise forever, Kara,” Lena said, choking up again.

“Don’t say that. Don’t think like that. I’m not going anywhere.” Kara hugged Lena tighter. “I'm always gonna protect you. You're my best friend.”

They stood there, wrapped up in each other, for a few minutes more while they both tried to settle down.

“Do you think you can sleep?” Kara asked gently.

Lena shook her head as best she could. “Not alone.”

“I’m right there,” Kara pointed to the cot.

“When I’m asleep I might as well be alone,” Lena said. “Please?”

“Okay,” Kara replied. “Do you need anything? Glass of water?” She pulled away just enough that she could look into Lena’s eyes.

Lena shook her head. “Just you next to me.”

When Kara got into bed, she felt Lena pull on her arm and wrap it around her waist lightly. She tightened the hold and felt the other woman give a shuddery sigh. “Okay?”

“Stay right here, please?” Lena’s voice was tiny, extremely vulnerable.

Kara snuggled in, fitting her body to Lena’s. “I’m here.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“What if they need Supergirl?”

“I’ll wake you up before I leave.”

Lena meant to sigh, but the tiny whimper that escaped her throat embarrassed her -severely-.

“Lena, no. I’m right here. -Right- here,” Kara soothed. “Don’t think about anything else. Just sleep, and I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Lena felt exhaustion tugging at her. -Probably a combo of meds and freaking out.- “Okay.”

“What helps when you need to sleep?”

“I have no idea. I sort of just collapsed when I was tired...before.”

“All your life? Lillian didn’t...she didn’t read you stories? Sing? Lionel?”

Lena sighed. “-Nope-. Not the Luthor way. Lex can’t carry a tune to save his life, either. Maybe my real mother sang to me. I don’t know.”

Kara sighed sadly. “Sometimes, when I would have dreams of Krypton, Eliza would come in and sing a song or two to me, really softly, and it would help me.”

“Eliza?”

“My adoptive mother. Alex’s mother. You should meet her sometime. She’s amazing.” Kara hugged Lena gently. “We could try that?”

“You sing?” Lena blinked. That was certainly something she never would have guessed about her best friend.

“A little. I don’t know many lullabies, though. You think an N’SYNC song would work?”

Lena laughed, but it came out all wrong due to how shaky she was. “Did your real mom sing to you too?”

“Yes. Both my parents did, actually.”

“Do you remember those songs? Maybe...maybe you could…”

Kara nodded. “I’ll try.”

Lena closed her eyes as Kara began to sing softly, words she couldn’t understand and didn’t need to. After a moment she realized that Kara’s voice was -gorgeous- and yes, soothing. The song wound its way around her and implored her to sleep, that she was safe, she was home.

Kara felt Lena relax into slumber underneath her after the third song. She was unsurprised to feel fresh tears pooling in her eyes. She’d never sung the old lullabies here, although she’d had to memorize most of the planet’s back catalogue of such things in order to make sure she was properly equipped to care for Kal. That part of her life had never been unearthed again, but it felt easy to sing to Lena, like coming home. It hit Kara like a semi truck, then. No matter how she tried to bury it for the sake of her job, for Lena’s recovery, anything she tried to file it under, -she was in love with Lena Luthor-. She didn't just have a crush, this wasn't just idle daydreaming like she'd been doing and feeling terrible about. She would do anything for Lena, she would -die- for Lena. The only people she’d ever felt that strongly about all had the last name of Danvers or a permutation of El. Her -family-. But it wasn’t that simple with Lena. Kara wanted to be with her, forever. The way Kal spoke about Lois. The way Eliza spoke about Jeremiah. The way Alex wasn’t ready to speak about Maggie, though Kara knew it was lurking under the surface. She’d never felt anything so right as Lena being wrapped around her like that, even though it was in distress and pain. No one she’d tried to be intimate with had ever felt so -perfect- in her arms. And yet, she and Lena hadn’t been intimate. It wasn’t the time to confess that she wanted such a thing, either. Lena had to get well first. And if, when she was well, they saw things the same way, maybe Kara would finally know what true happiness was. Til then, she told herself, she’d take the love of her best friend that she knew was there, even if Lena couldn’t find her way back to showing it as she had before. Kara knew it was there, and that was enough.

Lena slept the rest of the night without incident, and after a soft discussion the following morning, Kara moved her pillows back to the bed, the cot returning to DEO inventory. Lena’s nightmares subsequently vanished, and her doctor downgraded the sedative to “as needed”. Which was code for “Kara’s going to be working late and you still need to sleep,” but that wasn’t a bad thing, Lena decided. Fewer meds meant she was getting better, climbing the road to stability. She’d replaced the bed shortly after, since they both deserved a better night’s sleep anyway. Kara protested, of course, but Lena had the bed installed and the old one hauled away while she was gone, so there was no getting it back. They both slept better, more deeply, and it helped both of them quite a bit. Just getting quality sleep lifted their spirits, and Lena reported to her therapist that a new mattress had literally made all the difference. She left out the part about her bedmate, however. That wasn't anyone's to know.

~~~

“I'm in love with her, Alex,” Kara said as they walked through the halls of the DEO.

“I know,” Alex replied. “Everyone does.”

Kara stopped and turned to stare at her sister. “-What.-”

Alex rolled her eyes. “You can see it from -space-, Kara. Everyone knows you're in love with Lena. Everyone -except- her. Why haven't you told her?”

“She's still not well,” Kara argued, “and what if she doesn't feel the same?” She couldn't face it. What if Lena didn't feel the same? Rejected her? Or worse, stayed her friend in name but acted awkward in person? Kara couldn't chance it. They were too close as friends. Maybe if Lena’s ex had been Jane rather than Jack, Kara thought, but without evidence, she couldn't act.

Alex rolled her eyes again. “Just -tell- her, Kara. If you wait for the perfect time, it'll never happen.” Alex was very sure the feelings were mutual, especially after what Maggie had told her. -Sometimes I just want to push their heads so their lips smash together and let them work it out,- Alex thought sullenly.

“I -can’t-, Alex. Not while she's still sick and vulnerable. That's manipulation. I can't.”

Alex sighed. “You're right.” She was lying to her sister's face, but she knew Kara wouldn't budge. Something would have to happen, but Alex would be damned if she knew what.


	8. Chapter 8

After several favourable visits to the therapist, Lena was cleared to go back to work, provided she kept normal full-time hours or less. She still wasn’t allowed to be alone, but Emily, the quiet assistant to Hector, did plenty of work at her small desk and didn’t -watch- Lena’s every move. For Lena’s sake, Emily didn’t make any phone calls, passing them off to Hector, whose excuse for not being the one to be in her office was exactly that, that he needed to make plenty of calls and it would be disruptive to Miss Luthor’s workflow.

When the lunch hour rolled around, Lena was entirely unsurprised to see Kara bounding in, Noonan’s bags in her hands.

“For -you-,” Kara said, dropping a bag on Emily’s desk, “and for -us-,” she brandished the bigger bag before flopping on the couch.

Lena laughed and shook her head. “How did I know you would show up, Miss Danvers?”

“Predictable, that’s me,” Kara said, patting the seat next to her.

“Emily, you can take a break if you’d like,” Lena said, getting up and crossing to the couch. “Kara is here.”

“Yes, Hector told me that Miss Danvers was almost certainly coming,” Emily smiled and nodded. “Will you text me when your lunch is done?”

“I will,” Lena said, sitting down on the couch and giving Emily a little wave as she disappeared out the door with her takeout bag.

“So? How’s work?” Kara asked as she began unpacking the bag.

“There’s a certain comfort to being back in my office, but over the last few months I’ve realized there simply isn’t that much I have to actually -do- here beyond board meetings,” Lena said. “Which, I have to admit, it’s very odd to have everyone wishing me well. What were they actually told?”

“That you had really bad mono,” Kara said. “Aggravated to critical levels by exhaustion and overwork, which is why you collapsed with no notice and why I had to take care of you. It’s what Emily’s been told, she’s here to monitor your fatigue and make sure you stick to eight hours or less a day. I had the DEO make up some paperwork for a private hospital stay and some notes by a doctor which were conveniently leaked to shut people up, including Snapper.”

“And that’s what the board was told as well?”

“Yep. That’s why I always made sure you had pillows near you and you sat on the couch when you had to make video calls,” Kara said. “So that it was clear to them you were still sick and tired.”

“Sick and tired of -them-, for sure,” Lena quipped, taking a large forkful of the salad Kara had bought her.

“It also buys you a way out any time you want for at least the next month,” Kara said in between bites of her first burger. “I can show you the doctor’s notes. They’re really frightening!”

“I’ll pass,” Lena laughed.

“Lena...it makes me so happy to see you up here, being your old self,” Kara said, smiling at her.

“I do feel much more normal,” Lena replied, “but I have to say I kinda miss working out of your living room.”

“Me too,” Kara said. “But at least this way I can do my other job during the day without depositing unlucky agents through the window.”

“I know why you have to, I -know-, but I really wish you didn’t,” Lena sighed.

“I’m just worried,” Kara said softly. “I’m worried about what might happen if you get inside your own head and there’s no one around to talk to you.”

Lena closed her eyes and nodded. “I am too.”

“I love you, Lena,” Kara said. “You’re my best friend. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you too, Kara,” Lena said, her voice teary.

Kara put down her food, pulled the salad and fork out of Lena’s hands, and enveloped her in a hug.

“Mark down another thing I miss about working from your home,” Lena said after a moment in which she collected herself.

“I’ll give you lots of hugs tonight and every night to make up for it,” Kara said, letting Lena go reluctantly.

Lena smiled. “Good. I fear I might be addicted to them.”

“Better than coke,” Kara said, picking up her burger again.

“For sure,” Lena replied, retrieving her meal. “Better high, less of a drop.”

Kara grinned.

The afternoon was a write-off for Kara. She couldn't focus. Lena's heartbeat was steady, and she was definitely fine. And Kara would -not- listen in. She was better than that. But she couldn't focus. She switched to a window on her phone instead, a website devoted to fanfiction of all types.

And no, she wasn't reading G-rated stories. There were plenty of fics involving the blonde and brunette best friends from one of her favourite shows. Where they did things that weren't even hinted about on screen. Kara loved them. She knew it was self-indulgent and ridiculous, but she couldn't stop herself. Her two jobs (three if you counted nurturing the woman she was head over heels for) meant she could only read for moments at a time. And Snapper was on the other side of the building. So she picked the one she had been reading back up, and as she read the romantic scene, her vision blurred and she was far away.

//”Kara, it’s beautiful,” Lena said, looking all around her, holding onto the handle of the picnic basket.

“Yeah. I wanted to take you someplace special,” Kara said. “And someplace remote.”

”You're sure no one can see us? No paparazzi?” Lena bit her lip.

“No one's within miles of here,” Kara replied, smoothing the flannel blanket they'd put down on the ground. “I promise. No one can see us, no one knows we’re here.”

Lena smiled shyly. “Can I kiss you, then?”

“You can try,” Kara said, putting an arm around Lena's waist and pulling her down, “but I'm gonna kiss you first.”

Lena actually -giggled- before Kara's lips met hers, and Kara reveled in the softness and the sunshine in Lena's happy laughter.//

“PONYTAIL!” Snapper thwacked an unabridged dictionary down next to Kara, and she swore she jumped three feet in the air. “Focus! That article won't write itself, you know! It might be better off if you weren't the one writing it, but I can daydream. -You-, on the other hand, need to get back to work!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Kara mumbled, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs. She couldn't get Lena's giggles out of her mind, though. Would that be what they really sounded like? And when would Lena be happy, -well- enough to laugh like that at all?

Kara put the thought as far from her as she could, and ruined five pencils in the next hour chewing on them to try and focus.

When Lena arrived at Kara’s apartment after work (having been driven by her normal driver, just as if she was visiting), Kara was already there, bouncing around to bubblegum pop and sweeping the floor.

“Lena!” Kara let the door close, but then she bounded over to Lena and wrapped her up tightly in the first of the hugs she’d promised.

“Hey Kara,” Lena said, basking in the warmth and pride coming from her best friend.

“Was work all right?” Kara took Lena’s purse and coat, hanging them up quickly.

Lena sighed. “Yes, but there’s still so much to do tonight. I--” She broke off as she turned to the living room. “Kara, where’s the setup?”

“Back at L Corp,” Kara said, standing next to Lena and putting a hand lightly on her lower back. “You have strict orders.”

“And what if I have a call from Hong Kong from an investor?” Lena tried to keep any sharpness out of her voice.

“Then you take it,” Kara said, starting to rub Lena’s back gently, “but work now stays at work and home stays home. You threw yourself into it way too much before. We’re making new habits.”

“-You- don’t keep normal hours,” Lena said.

“I’m not human.” Kara’s arm snaked around Lena’s waist and pulled her close. “Don’t be mad. Please? Just take it slow.”

“-When- will I be left alone to live my -life-?” Lena snarled.

Kara’s eyes grew huge and she immediately let go of Lena, backing away a couple of steps.

Lena sighed, slumping. “I didn’t mean it like that, Kara.” She'd fucked up in a moment of anger, and now she'd have to renegotiate their terms.

“How...how -did- you mean it?” Kara quaked inside with fear. They'd come so far. Done so much. She loved the woman in front of her with all her heart. Would it all have been for nothing?

“I...don’t know,” Lena replied, choosing her words carefully, “but when I said alone, I didn’t mean without -you-, Kara. I meant doctors, of -any- stripe, telling me what to do. And...I was counting on still being able to do all the work I’d been doing here.”

“Lena,” Kara whispered, the fear draining from her at Lena's reassurance. “If you go too fast with this I could lose you. And I -can’t- lose you.”

Lena sighed again and hung her head. “I want to tell you that you won’t, but I can’t.” She wouldn't, -couldn’t- lie to the woman she loved. Not Kara. Admitting her frailty meant further cementing of the trust Kara had placed in her.

“So...it’s okay that I sent the setup back to L Corp?” Kara fidgeted with her hands, picking at her nails. Her stomach was still roiling. They weren't safe yet.

Lena sighed. “No. Not emotionally. But common sense-wise? Yes.” She looked up, into upset but still trusting blue eyes.

“Can...can I hug you?” Kara's tone had a wistful note to it.

“I wish you’d never stopped.” Lena's voice held a suppressed sob.

Kara pulled Lena into her arms quickly. “I’m sorry. I just want you to be well again.”

“I don’t know if I was -ever- well. Just better at hiding it.” Lena rested her forearms against Kara's chest, folding against her and sighing.

“Lena…” Kara hugged her tighter. She'd never let Lena go. Never. She loved her too much.

“What’s for dinner?” Lena asked after she’d composed herself. This was where she wanted to stay forever. Safe, in Kara's arms. Protected. Loved. Loved? Well, yes. Kara did love her very much. They were best friends, after all. She had to be okay with that. Just that. And when she wasn't upset about something, she -was- okay with it. Kara deserved better, period, so anything with her was a gift.

“Well, actually, Alex and Maggie wanted to celebrate your first day back at work,” Kara said shyly, backing off til she was holding both of Lena’s hands. “They got some great reservations for the four of us.”

Lena blinked, then smiled. “Okay. But at some point, you have to let me cook. At least once. I miss it.”

“Maybe a second-day-at-work celebration?” Kara swung Lena’s hands to and fro gently.

“If that’s what gets you to agree,” Lena laughed softly.

“It’s a date. Now, we don’t have much time, because they got early reservations so that I could haul you out of L Corp if necessary,” Kara said.

“You are -all- in cahoots against me. I -do- have to run my company,” Lena grumbled as she went to pick her things off the coat rack.

“And you -can- run it. Just without running -yourself- into the ground.” Kara breezed by Lena with an air kiss to her cheek before getting her coat.

“I may run my company, but -you- run my life, Kara Zor-El,” Lena said with a fake-exasperated sigh. She loved Kara with all her heart, she realized. And she had, for a very long time.

“And you love that I do,” Kara replied with her sunniest smile before taking Lena’s hand and pulling her out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

//”Lena, I love you,” Kara breathed, pulling Lena's shirt and bra off carefully. "And now you're mine..."

“God, Kara, please take me. I'm so tired of waiting.” Lena bit her lip and lay back on the bed. "I thought I'd have to wait forever."

“I never thought you'd feel the same,” Kara said, cupping Lena's breasts in her hands. "And I...oh geez, this is amazing."

Lena moaned, hips rocking up towards her lover. “I can't remember when I didn't.”

Kara brought her knee up between Lena's thighs and pressed it against her. “Do you know how long I've wanted this? Wanted you?"

“Take me already,” Lena whispered. “Just take me, Supergirl, I swear I'll die if you don't."

Kara leaned down and kissed her hard, flooding her with sensation.//

Kara stirred as Lena turned in her arms to face up, soft noises escaping her. It didn't take super senses to realize what kind of dream Lena was having this time. Kara sighed, but she didn't take her arm away. -She’s probably dreaming of Jack,- she thought morosely. -She must miss him so much.- She smoothed the stray strands of hair back from Lena's face. Rao, but she wanted to kiss her so much. Replace Jack with herself in the dream. Have Lena wake up to real affection. But she wouldn't, couldn't. That would be a violation of so many boundaries she couldn't even fathom it. Kara simply tucked her arm tighter around Lena's waist.

//”Kara, you're everything I ever wanted,” Lena whimpered as Kara’s fingers slipped inside her. “I love you.”

“Lena, you're perfect. Just perfect,” Kara replied, keeping the pressure up.

“I'm not good enough for you,” Lena moaned.

“Don't say that. Don't ever say that. Just give me this,” Kara said comfortingly. “Please? Give me this.”

“Anything you want,” Lena gasped.

Kara kissed her, and just like that, she came.//

Kara's heart broke anew as Lena gave a happy sigh and rolled over into her, snuggling up instantly. -I wish it were me. I wish it were me. I wish I could be that for you, Lena.- She sighed. She hadn't missed the way Lena looked at Jack when he was still alive. And clearly, Lena missed him terribly, still thought about him, wanted to be with him. Kara was never, could never be a contender. She'd had to move on from Mon-El, but she didn't blame Lena for hanging onto the one thing in her life that had been good.

Lena slept well, but Kara tortured herself long into the night, berating herself for wishing like a child for what could clearly never be.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been about a week since the therapist had decided Lena could use knives to cook, and she was making up for lost time with gusto. Kara could expect to arrive home after work to a feast of pasta or steak or whatever else Lena felt like cooking. “I'm trying not to make it -too- healthy,” she joked to Kara one night.

“You are too good to me,” Kara replied, pulling her into a tight hug.

So when Lena was looking down and chopping celery as usual, she didn't expect to see the knife in her hand lift up and drive into her arm. -You are unworthy of her love,- the voice whispered. -You will kill her.-

Lena gasped and dropped the knife, backing away from the island as fast as she could. She looked down at her arm. No blood. No wound.

-You are nothing but a Luthor,- the voice continued. -She is better off without you. Do it.-

Lena ran to the bedroom and threw herself on the bed, reaching for Bertha and clutching her tightly. “Go -away,-” she choked out.

-You will kill her,- the voice repeated. -End it first.-

Lena felt herself falling away, going strangely numb yet her brain continued to whirl at an inhuman pace. She tried to breathe and found it impossible. She switched to shallow breaths, anything that could help.

Kara jerked when she realized Lena's heartbeat was going off the charts again.

“Kara?” James asked, since she'd broken off their conversation mid-word.

“I have to go,” Kara said quickly.

“What's wrong?”

“Lena.”

“Go,” James urged without a second thought. “I'll cover for you.”

Kara ran downstairs, ducked behind Catco, and flew home. When she burst through the window, she looked around frantically. “Lena?!”

She saw the half-prepared food on the counter, and ran into the bedroom.

Lena was lying there on the bed, a lost look on her face, squeezing Bertha the giraffe as hard as she could. The beautiful green eyes that Kara adored were fixed on something far away, possibly not even on this earth. But they -burned-, she could see that. They burned with pain, and Kara couldn't -stand- it.

Kara knelt beside her. “Lena? Lena.” She tucked a stray lock of hair behind Lena's ear.

“I'm going to kill you,” Lena said in a dead voice, between her sharp, shallow breaths.

“You can't,” Kara said. “Do you need your meds?”

“Anyone I love dies. I’m a Luthor,” Lena continued.

“You need to take your meds, you'll feel better,” Kara said quietly before using super speed to get the sedative out of her bag and a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“Okay,” Lena replied. Even as she felt violently out of control, she knew Kara couldn't be argued with. She popped the pill into her mouth and swallowed some water obediently.

“What do you need?” Kara was ready to hyperventilate herself. The sight of Lena trying to breathe, her entire body wracked with shivers, was freaking -her- out.

Lena unwrapped one hand from Bertha and held it out slightly. Even Luthors needed touch. Lex would remain insane, she knew. No one touched him now.

Kara took it and held on. “I'm here. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.” She placed her other hand gently around Lena's.

As the drug spread through her system, Lena felt herself unclench one muscle at a time. -See, you don't win,- she told the cruel, evil voice in her head. Her breathing began to even out. “Please...hold me?”

Kara let go of her hand and went to the other side of the bed, spooning Lena quickly and holding her close. “What else do you need?”

“Hold me til it goes away?” Before this, Lena would never have made any sort of demand of Kara. It wasn't how she worked, wasn't how she dealt with things. But this was her new normal. Instead of turning to substances and lone wolf tendencies, she turned to Kara, the best friend she'd ever had. Asking for touch wasn't a demand, she'd learned. It was how Kara showed love. And right now, she needed that love, desperately.

Kara pulled Lena tightly against her. “Just tell me what you need when you need it.”

Lena felt herself relax enough that the tears began to flow. She had been too panicked to -cry-.

“Let it out, I've got you,” Kara murmured. “I've got you.”

Lena cried and, for once, found it actually therapeutic. She'd been basically forced as a child to never show negative emotions or weakness, unless it was to manipulate someone. So any crying she had done was essentially crocodile tears for most of the last twenty years. It had always been a means to an end, and when it did slip out as a result of real emotion, she had always been left with a headache and nothing more.

As Lena softened in her arms, Kara rolled her gently so she was facing up, stuffing pillows under her head.

“What are you…?” Lena wasn't sure what Kara was up to, but she let it happen.

“Your nose is gonna get stuffy,” Kara said quietly. “This’ll help til we get tissues.”

Lena nodded, and then a sob escaped her throat, much to her surprise and dismay.

Kara snuggled back down beside her. “It's gonna be okay. Don't worry. Let it out.”

Lena ended up clinging, her arms around Kara's shoulders, before she finally cried herself out.

“Would talking about it help?” Kara asked quietly. “Or if you want to talk to the therapist, that's fine.”

Lena took a deep breath. “I disassociated. I was chopping celery for dinner, until I wasn't. And then I was stabbing myself with the knife, so that I was gone and you wouldn't be in danger anymore.”

“Oh no,” Kara whispered.

“So I just...got away from the knife,” Lena said. “I came in here, and the panic hit. Then there was you.”

“I'm so -proud- of you,” Kara replied, smoothing Lena's hair back from her face.

“Why?”

“Because you had destructive thoughts and you ran from the physical danger,” Kara said, hugging her gently. “You didn't give in.”

“I can't leave you,” Lena whispered.

“I won't leave -you-,” Kara responded instantly.

Lena lifted her hand to cup Kara's cheek, thumb rubbing softly over her cheekbone. She bit her lip. It felt so good, Kara's skin against hers. She didn't realize that at that exact second, she was showing Kara how she really felt.

Kara's breath caught as she saw the clear love and desire in Lena's eyes. She'd never discussed this with anyone. She'd started seeing a therapist herself, to process her own reactions to Lena nearly dying and then to get strategies on how to best help Lena heal, but she'd insisted to the woman that Lena was simply her best friend, someone she cared for like her sister. She had been lying to everyone, including Lena. But now, it seemed, the cat was out of the bag. On both sides.

Lena just gazed up into Kara's eyes, smiling slightly. The only thought now running through her exhausted brain was how nice it was to caress the person she loved like this.

Kara leaned down and kissed Lena's forehead, lingering just a second before pulling back up to re-establish eye contact. She wanted so badly to really kiss Lena, but she knew that could go wrong in their present states, and she wasn't sure Lena could truly consent right after a panic attack.

“What was that for?” Lena asked softly, letting her hand slide down slowly onto Kara's neck.

“A promise,” Kara replied.

“What did you promise?” Normally Lena would have read into this. Way too much. Might have even begun panicking and drawing back, pulling the wall between them again. But she was exhausted, both mentally and physically, so she just -asked-, hoping the answer would be what she wished for.

“That when it's right, we'll discuss this,” Kara said, picking the hand on her neck up and kissing it. “Us.”

Lena felt her heart warm, warm for real. The stone was cracking, her secret wish was coming true. “You think there can be...an us?”

“I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life,” Kara said, voice hitching slightly with emotion. “I just want both of us to be in the right state before we try.”

Lena nodded. “I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much either.”

“I love you, Lena,” Kara continued. “And I don't want this to get messed up because we weren't in the right places for it.”

“No, that makes sense,” Lena said. “I'm just...glad I don't have to hide it anymore.”

“You've kept it inside?” Kara kicked herself mentally after she asked. -Who would she have told, her assistant? Geez, Zor-El.-

“Well…” Lena's eyes rolled to the side, indicating behind her. “Bertha may know too much.”

Kara smiled. “She keeps the secrets. We can trust her.”

“Yeah.” Lena smiled up at Kara, amazed at how genuine it -felt- all of a sudden, and how much -lighter- she was now that the secret was out. “I love you, Kara.”

Kara squeaked happily, settling Lena closely against her.

Lena basked in the warmth, the warmth and the love. Kara loved her, wanted to be with her. And that, Lena realized, she had to deserve. She had to get stable, to function regularly, to deserve the woman who loved her. Lena nuzzled into Kara's neck with a new determination. She would do it all by the book, exceed the expectations, -live- again. She would earn Kara as a partner, and save her own soul in the process.

“Should I bring the knives back to Alex's house?” Kara asked quietly, no judgment in her tone.

“No,” Lena said strongly. “That power is not theirs to have. I refuse.”

“Okay,” Kara said, cuddling Lena that much closer. “I trust you.”

“I promise to earn it,” Lena replied. “I love you.” She was shocked at how easily it rolled off her tongue, now that it meant more than it had before. Lillian would be -horrified-. That buoyed Lena, the fact that she was betraying every last tenet of her horrible, hateful family. Lex and Lillian both destroyed their lives over aliens they considered threats. Lena loved, adored, would -die- for her alien, the one who loved her better than any relation she'd ever had. That thought gave Lena infinite comfort.

“I love you too,” Kara sighed happily, close to Lena's ear. "Rao, it's so wonderful to finally -say- it out loud. To you."

Lena gave a small, happy noise, and relaxed her body, letting Kara have control. It felt good, it felt -right- like this, Kara giving emotional support, and Lena giving trust in return.

“I'm going to give Bertha a pocket,” Kara said after a few minutes of cuddling.

“Hm?” Lena had been drowsing. She hadn't expected it would be so comforting, just being in the arms of the one she loved, who loved her back. Comforting, stable, safe.

“A zip pocket, for a couple of the anxiety pills. So if you just go to her when you freak out, you can help yourself.” Kara kissed Lena's hair. “I'm so sorry I had them all with me.”

“You couldn't have known,” Lena replied softly. “And you were here quickly.”

“Your heartbeat was suddenly way too fast, and I knew you weren't doing drugs or anything. So I came.”

Kara's phone rang then, and she snatched it out of her pocket angrily, half-sitting up. “There had better be -fire- and lots of it, Alex.”

Lena sighed and reached up to stroke Kara's face again, loving the fact that she could now. She could caress the one she loved. The stone was cracking, and if she tried, if Kara tried, it would be destroyed soon enough.

“She is stable, but leaving her isn't a good idea,” Kara said into the phone. “No, she needs -me-! Not Agent Number 654 or whoever!”

Lena shifted onto her other side to make caressing Kara's cheek easier, gazing up at her. She knew this would be a losing conversation. And she didn't mind. Part of loving Kara was loving Supergirl, and that meant being okay with her leaving.

“Buy me five minutes, Alex!” Kara hit end on the call and flopped back in frustration.

“Go,” Lena said softly, letting her hand fall away from Kara's face. “I had my medicine. I'm fine.”

“Maybe I'm not,” Kara sighed. “I just announced my intentions of dating you in the future, and that's a huge step for me.”

“The city needs you,” Lena murmured, toying with a lock of Kara's hair instead of actually touching her, which she thought might make it harder for her to leave. “Go save people, Supergirl. I'll be right here.”

“What if I'm gone for a long time?” Kara's worried look was too precious, Lena thought. Everything was so intense for her. Lena couldn't imagine what a toll that would take on her. But then, she supposed, it was part of what made Kara, well...Super.

“Then I'll sleep here. But I might have to go pee.” Lena gave a wry grin. “Still not going anywhere.”

Kara kissed her on the cheek. “Keep it that way, please.”

“Go, Supergirl. My hero,” Lena said softly. She did not, however much she wanted to, turn her head and catch that kiss properly. Supergirl had to go, and they had promised to wait til the time was right.

“As long as I'm still -your- hero, it's okay.” Kara replied before changing at super speed and flying away.

Maggie Sawyer was delivered to the living room in short order. “Hey, Little Luthor.”

“Hey,” Lena replied from the bed.

“Rough day?” Maggie went to the kitchen. Lena knew she was rooting in the fridge for a beer.

“You could say that,” Lena replied.

Having found her beer and opened it, Maggie wandered into the bedroom and flopped on the seat at the foot of the bed. “I see the sleeping arrangements have changed in here.”

“Yep,” Lena said simply.

“So you took my advice?”

“About thirty minutes ago, yes.” Lena scooted up to sit against the headboard.

“That long?” Maggie took a sip of her beer. “Jeez, you're hard-headed. What'd she say?”

“That she wants there to be an us, but we both have to get better first.”

Maggie nodded. “Yeah. I get that. Kara is seriously obsessed with 'doing right” by you. So that doesn't surprise me.”

“But she said we both had to work towards being in the right place,” Lena said. “That part I don't get. At least, not with her.”

Maggie took a longer swig. “Look, Lena, I'm going to be brutally honest, okay?”

Lena nodded.

“Whether she admits it or not, Kara has been in love with you for over a year. She’s held on to that -so- tightly. So when you died, she -broke-.”

Lena hung her head.

“The person she loved most in the world was pulling away from her for weeks and then died. We got you back, but she had to contemplate living without you. Living without you, never having told you how she felt.”

Lena nodded slightly, still looking at her hands in her lap.

“The therapist said she shouldn't have taken you in, brought you here, but she wouldn't listen. She had to keep the person she loved so much -safe-. Both Alex and I understood that, which is why you saw us a lot at the beginning.”

“Yeah.”

“Tonight she came in looking both elated and wrecked. She looked at me, and I held out my arms. I think she figures you'll talk to me.”

“Okay.” Lena picked at her nails. “Earlier today, I had a really bad disassociation. I was trying to make dinner. Then I saw myself stabbing my own arm while the voice in my head told me to kill myself before I killed her.”

“Jesus,” Maggie whispered.

“So I dropped the knife and hit the bed,” Lena continued. “When I wouldn't give in to what the voice wanted, the panic attack started. Kara heard my heart go haywire and she came.”

“Right, she has the meds for that,” Maggie said.

“And she gave them to me, and stayed by me as I calmed down. She held me. And then I sort of gave away how I felt by touching her face.”

Maggie quirked an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Come here and I'll show you.”

Maggie got up and sat next to Lena, facing her.

“Imagine that we're lying down, I'm under you and you're holding me.” Lena reached out and cupped Maggie's cheek in her hand the same way she'd done Kara's, thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

Maggie smiled. “Oh, you definitely gave it away. And let me guess, you did that lip biting thing she's mooned over to me and Alex more than once.”

Lena smiled back and dropped her hand into her lap. “Not intentionally. She kissed my forehead and said it was a promise to discuss us when we were in the right places for it.”

Maggie's smile turned into a grin. “Little Danvers is seriously the epitome of gentle and soft.”

“We both said 'I love you', and then we cuddled here in bed for awhile, and then the phone rang.”

“Oh, do I ever know -that- feeling,” Maggie sighed, pulling at her beer again. “Life with a Danvers girl.”

Lena smiled softly. “Is it worth it?”

“Every second,” Maggie answered without hesitation. “I think it's easier for me, because I can follow Alex into dangerous situations, always be on her six and have it accepted because of what I do. You're the one with the girl of steel, and you can't fly.”

Lena sighed. “That's what scares me. She's fought so hard to keep me. I can't do anything to keep her.”

“You have her heart.” Maggie booped Lena's nose gently. “That'll always keep her coming home.”

“I wish I were a cop, or a vigilante with a powerful suit,” Lena said, looking down at her hands. “So I could help protect her. But I know she wouldn't let me.”

“Nope, not our little sunshine,” Maggie agreed easily. “She'd be happiest if we all stayed home and safe. Preferably in one apartment so she could whisk us all to safety.”

“It scares me how little concern she has for herself just because she has some superpowers,” Lena almost spat. It was good to have Maggie to bounce off of. “She thinks she's indestructible!”

“Much to all our chagrin.” Maggie drank. “It's pretty hard to watch what that attitude does to Alex, but it has to be so much worse for you. You love -Kara-.”

“I do. I love Kara so much it frightens me,” Lena said, her words almost tripping over themselves. “I don't know how to feel about that either! I've never felt this way about -anyone-! I wasn't ever meant to…”

Maggie tilted her head as Lena trailed off. “Care to finish that?”

Lena took a long moment. “If I were ever to have a relationship that my family agreed with, it would have been some pompous, wealthy, white -male- asshole. When I was with Jack, they couldn't know. That's why we were just business partners to the world. Because he didn't fit their expectations.”

Maggie nodded.

“I thought I loved Jack, when we were together. And you know, looking back, I really think I did love him. Which is why I was nervous when he brought Biomax to National City. Because I would see him again, and the thought made the old butterflies start up again. And I clung to Kara.”

Maggie nodded again. “Because, even though you wouldn't admit what she was to you, facing an old love is easier with the new by your side.”

“I kissed him,” Lena sighed. “I kissed him to see if it was still there.”

Maggie just looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I didn't know he was already gone, controlled by that horrible woman who replaced me in the company,” Lena said. “So I still wonder, did I feel nothing because it wasn't him, or did I feel nothing because I’d fallen for Kara?”

Maggie shrugged. “That's a question you'll never get answered.”

“But I don't think it matters now,” Lena sighed. “For better or worse, Jack is my past. And, if I earn it, Kara is my present. My future.”

“Hang on, -earn-?”

Lena nodded. “I have to be more active. I survived. I have to -live-. Get stable. Make sure she doesn't have to worry about me like this. Be the person she deserves.”

“You know that Kara would take you the exact way you are,” Maggie said. “But she wants to make sure you're both on the same footing so she isn't taking advantage of you.”

“Advantage?!” Lena spluttered. “What does that mean!?”

“Listen, Alex has told me some stuff,” Maggie said. “Kara has always had to be in control. Painfully so, it seems. When you're super powered and can kill humans easily, anything that doesn't seem equal seems like taking advantage. It's her hangup. That's why she was so attracted to you from the getgo. You were powerful, assertive, in charge. Someone she thought she could be on equal footing with, at least as far as that's possible.”

“Oh,” Lena said softly. It hadn't even occurred to her to think about it from that angle, but it made so much sense. “I'm used to people wanting to manipulate that for their own gain.”

“Kara has loved you through everything, including that alien idiot she dated because she thought she could never have you,” Maggie said, her words gaining emotional force as she spoke.

“I regret making that device that killed him, but I don't think we had a choice,” Lena replied, looking down.

“He didn't die,” Maggie said, sighing. “Kara managed to put him in the pod he arrived in and sent him off somewhere. God only knows where. But due to the lead in the atmosphere, he’ll never return.”

Lena let out the breath she had been holding, and looked back up. “Wow.”

“Wanna know something terrible? I had to hold in my cheering, honestly,” Maggie said. “He's so terrible and emotionally abusive. He hurt her and then manipulated her into doing what he wanted.”

Lena sucked in her breath again. “Manipulate how?”

“Oh, no you don't,” Maggie said, waving the beer bottle at her. “Your recovery isn't manipulation. Not at all. Have you ever texted her in false distress trying to get her to come to you?”

Lena shook her head. “That would be horrible.”

“You have better morals than he does,” Maggie said. “And I know you've never called for her while she's Supergirl.”

“Not intentionally,” Lena said, ducking her head again. “The city needs her.”

“You're nothing like him. And I'm going to give you some advice that's proven successful in the past. Life is short. Nothing's guaranteed. You should kiss the girls you want to kiss, Lena. You're the one she really loves, has loved. I mean, it's been obvious to all of us forever. The way she looks at you. The dreamy look she gets when she talks about you and you're not there. Not to mention she has always defended you to the point of needing to go destroy concrete blocks when things happened this past year. She loves you so much. And I think you're gonna stick, kid.” Maggie patted Lena's shoulder.

“I just realized I need pretty much all the water ever,” Lena said, sighing. “I cried a lot coming down from the panic.”

“Yeah, let's go out to the kitchen and see what of that dinner we can salvage too,” Maggie said. “That alien can eat a horse.”

“Without salt,” Lena quipped.

“Hey, do the lip bite for me,” Maggie said. “I have to know what she goes on about.”

Lena blushed. “I don't know…”

“Come on.”

Lena ducked her head and thought about Kara, which -did- make her bite her lip. She looked up at Maggie, knowing her eyes would add to the effect.

Maggie laughed. “Damn, girl. No wonder she melts. Hell, -I- would if it was meant for me.”

Lena blushed harder. “Let's go make dinner.”

Kara arrived back to find Maggie and Lena in the kitchen arguing about the temperature of the oven and seeing exactly how many mitts, potholders, and dish towels they could find to throw at each other. She stood there, hands on her hips, grinning. Lena, her love, was in her home. Acting like she belonged there, making dinner. Kara had no idea, really, how they got to this point, but she never wanted it to end.

“Ladies,” she said finally.

Both Maggie and Lena whipped around, Lena carefully placing the hot pink mitt on Maggie's head.

“Agent Danvers has requested the return of Officer Sawyer immediately.”

Lena snerked. “Ooooh, get it, Officer Hotpants.”

Maggie batted the mitt off her head. “Shut up, Little Luthor.”

Kara tilted her head and grinned at Lena. “You okay?”

Lena looked over at the oven. “You have seven and a half minutes before the lasagna's done.”

“More like thirty because it's not hot enough,” Maggie bantered as she walked over to Kara.

“Look, some people like tender pasta, not mush.” Lena crossed her arms and pretended as if she was annoyed.

“Back in five,” Kara smiled, walking to the window with Maggie and taking off.

Two minutes later Lena's phone chimed.

//Hey Luthor, that girl of yours can really sweep a woman off her feet. I'm in love!//

//You have your own Danvers, keep your oven mitts off mine.//

Lena smirked as she laid down her phone. She was pretty sure she could call Maggie a friend at this point.

Kara tumbled back in five minutes after she left, true to her word. “I think I heard someone say the magic word, lasagna.”

“My hero deserves the best,” Lena said, smiling.

Kara ran over and enveloped Lena in a tight hug.

Lena sighed happily and nuzzled into Kara's neck. -I can. I love her. She knows.-

Kara made a pleased noise. Lena getting even closer physically gave her the delightful shivery chills she no longer had to hide. -I love her. She knows.-

They stayed like that til the oven beeped at them.

Lena grumbled, but untangled herself, leaving a kiss on Kara's cheek. She put on the hot pink oven mitts and shooed Kara away from the oven door.

“You know, I can take it out of there without the mitts,” Kara said.

“I know. You're not very subtle when you grief-bake, dear,” Lena replied as she pulled the heavy baking dish out of the oven and set it on top, closing the door. “But -I- am cooking.”

“Am I being banned from the kitchen?” Kara pouted.

“Yes. Go get changed or something,” Lena said, waving one of the mitts at her. “I'll let you open the wine.”

“O-kaaaaaaay,” Kara pretended to whine, walking off to her bedroom to change.

When Lena had set the table and put the lasagna, vegetables, and wine glasses down, she felt Kara's arms slip around her from behind. She relaxed into it, leaning back against Kara's solid form.

“You are the only one on this planet who could get me to eat broccoli,” Kara murmured into her ear.

“Everyone needs vegetables,” Lena said, tilting her head so it rested against Kara's. “Even super Kryptonians.”

Kara made a vague noise of disagreement, but squeezed Lena around the waist and let her go to sit down and have some dinner.

Kara could open a wine bottle with super speed, and soon they were tucking in with gusto.

“So, settle the bet,” Lena said after a few bites. “Maggie thinks it should have been in the oven longer. I say it's perfect now. What do you think?”

Kara swallowed and grinned. “I think it's wonderful!”

Lena smirked and picked up her phone. “Say lasagna,” she chirped as she aimed the camera at Kara.

Kara posed with the fork halfway to her mouth and grinned.

//You lose,// Lena typed to Maggie, sending the photo along.

//We didn't bet, Luthor,// came the quick reply.

//The prize is the two of us heading to a bar, your choice, when our girls are off saving the world. And you're paying.//

//I accept my loss gracefully. Don't count on that in the future.//

Lena grinned at her phone.

“What's Maggie saying?” Kara smiled.

“Oh, the next time you and Alex are off putting yourselves in all the danger to be found in this city, Maggie and I are going for drinks.”

Kara grinned. “I'm so glad you two are friends now.”

Lena smiled at the love and pride she saw in Kara's eyes. “Me too.”

After dinner, they settled down to watch an episode of the show they'd been following, since it was too late for a movie. But this time, the cuddling they'd always engaged in had a different dynamic; even closer than before, more relaxed. Kara was parked in Lena's lap, warm arms wrapped around her. She sighed into Lena's neck, who shivered and tightened her hold, one hand reaching up to drag her fingers lightly through Kara's waves.

“I love you,” Kara breathed, the words almost coming out as a whimper.

“I love -you-,” Lena replied. “You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

Kara made a noise that managed to sound both sad and pleased at once. “You deserve the world, Lena.”

“I don't deserve what I want. -Yet-,” Lena continued before Kara could pull in breath to protest. “But I -will-.”

“I'll wait,” Kara replied. “As long as it takes.”

“Stop saying things I should kiss you for,” Lena sighed. “You're making it really hard right now.”

Kara made another sad noise, and then she couldn't take it anymore. She leaned up and kissed Lena gently, pulling away after just a second.

Lena's eyes fluttered closed the moment Kara's lips hit hers, and she kept them closed. The sudden goosebumps were overwhelming her. Kara's lips on hers felt like a butterfly, warm and perfect but fleeting and achingly gone all too soon. “Oh my god...”

“I'm sorry,” Kara whimpered. -Shouldn't have done that shouldn't have done that oh Rao-

“Don't be,” Lena breathed. “Perfect.” She was pretty sure nothing she'd experienced in her life to date had ever been so pure, and she shivered with the realization.

“Promise?” Kara's voice trembled, tears of possible rejection, fear, and dread audibly forming.

Lena opened her eyes to see huge blue ones, filling with worry and concern and tears, but still love. “I don't think any of my other first kisses was sweeter," she replied quickly. She couldn't ever bear a scared or sad Kara. "I'll earn more. I promise.”

Kara smiled softly, and she couldn't help herself. She laid another quick, light kiss on Lena's lips. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Lena smiled back. She congratulated herself heartily for not grabbing Kara's face and pulling her back in for a deeper kiss or eighty.

“Nope. I love you this much,” and Kara sat up to spread her arms wide.

“I love you to the moon and back,” Lena replied, recalling the children's book she'd never gotten to read as a child.

“I love you to the stars and back,” Kara countered.

“I love you past the stars,” Lena said, “to the farthest-flung galaxies and the wormholes. And back.”

“Nerd,” Kara laughed.

“You love it,” Lena said, smiling. -You are the most beautiful being in this galaxy, or any of them, Kara. And I'll belong to you soon enough, and I'll make you proud.-

“I think it's about time for nerds to hit the sack,” Kara said, looking at the time.

Lena squinted at her phone. “Yeah. I have a 7am conference call.”

“The hours you keep should not be legal,” Kara grumbled as she got up off the couch and put her hands out.

Lena took the offered hands and pulled herself up. “Business stops for no one and nothing.”

When they were washed, changed, and curled in bed, Lena felt a light kiss pressed to the base of her neck. She grinned and rolled her head and shoulder just a little to acknowledge the affection, tucking Kara's arm tighter around her.

“Good night, Lena.” Kara's voice matched the smile on her face.

“Good night, Kara.” Lena sighed happily. -I’m so glad she finally knows.-


	11. Chapter 11

When Supergirl breezed onto her balcony, Lena was surprised to say the least. There had been no texts or calls from Kara indicating a visit was imminent. Emily's eyes had gone huge, so Lena smirked and got up to open the door.

“Miss Luthor,” Kara said, striding in with her hands on her hips.

“Emily, would you give us a minute?” Lena asked kindly.

Emily squeaked, then nodded, gathering several papers and backing out of the room quickly.

“You'll have to give her an autograph,” Lena remarked.

“I'd love to,” Kara said. She tapped her ear with a meaningful look at Lena. The room could be bugged.

Lena nodded. “So what brings you by today, Supergirl?”

“We've picked up activity that indicates your mother is planning something,” Kara said. “It could be another attempt on your life.”

Lena sighed. “A day ending in Y, it seems. How very like her to target me while I'm still recovering.”

“Unfortunately,” Kara said. “And we have intel that she may be planning a strike where you currently live.”

Lena’s expression morphed into a look of rage. “I assume you're taking care of that?”

“We are, but it's the opinion of my employers that you should move to an undisclosed location.”

“I have them. I'll let the DEO know. And I'll be taking Kara Danvers with me.”

“We agree on that point,” Kara said. “Miss Danvers resisted our attempts to relocate her. She said she wasn't going anywhere without you.” Kara took Lena's hand.

“I won't go anywhere without -her-,” Lena snapped. “And if -my mother- thinks she can intimidate me by threatening my -best friend-, she is extremely wrong. I will protect Kara.”

“I know you will do your best, Miss Luthor, and we will be behind you.” Kara's eyes twinkled as she raised Lena's hand to her lips and kissed it silently.

“Come see me at her apartment tonight and I'll give you the location we’ll be moving to,” Lena said, closing her eyes for a moment to let Kara know she appreciated the kiss.

“I will. Well, the city needs saving,” Kara said.

Lena laughed, and slid a piece of paper over. “Before you go, for Emily.”

“Of course.” As Kara bent over and scribbled a small note and her autograph, Lena wrote down an address. Supergirl's felt-tip pen squeaks would disguise her own writing to an audio bug. They wouldn't be waiting for tonight. Lena knew Kara could pack everything they both needed in mere moments, and probably already had -and- moved it to the DEO.

Kara swiped the scrap of paper neatly with an added whoosh of her cape. “Til next time, Miss Luthor.”

“Til next time, Supergirl.” Lena followed her to the balcony door and locked it after Kara had flown off. She sat back down at her desk and sighed before pressing the button to Hector. “Send Emily back in, please.”

Emily was over the moon when Lena handed her the autograph. “Sorry it wasn't a photo, but she did address it to you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'd heard you two were friends!” Emily gushed.

“More like acquaintances, really,” Lena lied smoothly. “Next time, I'll see if I can talk her into a selfie with you.”

The apartment Lena had indicated had heavy security, further bolstered by the DEO. Once Lena and Kara had arrived to validate it, the DEO swept every inch of the building for anything suspicious.

“It's so sterile,” Kara complained when they were finally allowed in, flopping on a couch dramatically.

“I never expected to use it,” Lena said, carrying a bag to the bedroom. “I have -got- to get out of these heels.”

“I guess we're doing takeout tonight? I don't know where anything -is- around here,” Kara groused, pulling out her phone and searching.

Lena quickly divested herself of her shoes and her work outfit, replacing it with lounge pants and a comfy t-shirt. Kara had indeed packed everything of hers, making sure nothing was left behind.

“Hey, so what do you want?” Kara asked, walking into the bedroom and wrapping her arms around Lena. She held the phone out so they could both see the screen. “There's some kind of vegetarian Indian restaurant. Maybe we could get you something there?”

“You are a doll.” Lena smiled and snuggled into the embrace. “But what will you get?”

“The menu says they have chicken,” Kara replied. “I can get something.”

“Good. I have cards with fake names for just this kind of thing,” Lena said, “so you can get whatever and just put it under the name on the card.”

“You think of everything,” Kara said, nuzzling into Lena's neck.

“When your entire family is dead or evil, you have to,” Lena said, sighing.

“I love you,” Kara replied, urgency in her tone. She laid a quick kiss on Lena's neck.

“I love you more,” Lena said, shivering happily. “Let's get food.”

“Okay,” and Kara let her go reluctantly.

Kara didn't sleep well at all that night. She'd settled Lena close, head on her chest, and refused to let go, but she was uneasy. This went beyond wanting to protect her best friend. The stakes now were almost unbearably high. They had been high before, but now that they -knew- they had feelings for one another, combined with Lena's added vulnerability due to her breakdown, it made Kara almost violently sick to think of Lena being hurt in any way. She eventually fell asleep clutching Lena as close as she could.

Lena woke up feeling too hot, and for some reason like she'd been tied down. She didn't understand until she cleared some of the sleep fog and realized that Kara was using her as a teddy bear. She reached up and lightly stroked the crinkle between Kara's eyebrows. -You’re upset, even asleep. I've done this to you.- Lena sighed. She traced Kara's face as softly as she could with a fingertip, needing to caress but not wanting to wake.

Kara swam out of her anxious sleep to a feather sweeping across her cheekbone. She startled.

“It's me,” the sweet voice she always dreamed about whispered. “Just me.”

Kara relaxed at the reassurance. -I love you, Lena.- The feather fingertip kept wandering, over her nose and jaw and everywhere. When it brushed her lips she kissed it, and opened her eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Lena let her hand fall to rest lightly over Kara's heart.

“Good morning,” Kara replied, smiling.

“You didn't sleep well,” Lena said.

“No,” and Kara sighed. “I hate her.”

“I do too. I'm glad you've finally come around on that issue,” Lena said.

“I know I kept pushing you to try and have a relationship with her, but all I can think about is how many times she's either tried to kill you, or left you for dead.” Kara's voice got angrier as the sentence ran on. “Oh, and my apartment was broken into yesterday. 6pm. About the time both of us would be getting home.”

“She’s predictable sometimes,” Lena sighed. “How bad?”

“The door needed replacing. And some patching of the walls where bullets landed. Unfortunately for them, the DEO had decoys that roughly resembled us. They also had already set up inside for just this reason. We're hoping they have some information. Any information, really.”

“Probably not,” Lena mused. “Probably just thugs for hire.”

Lena's alarm went off.

“Ugh, work,” Kara grumbled as she let Lena go so she could shut off the alarm.

“No rest for the wicked,” Lena replied, rolling out of bed and stretching. Being cuddled against Kara all night was comforting, but also bad for the muscles and joints.

“You are -not- wicked,” Kara said, sitting up. “Don't ever say that!”

“It's just an expression, Kara,” Lena said. “I don't mean anything by it.” She reached over and squeezed Kara's hand.

Kara huffed. “Okay, fine. You get ready and I'll get breakfast.”

Lena walked out in her power attire to find fruit, a danish, and some coffee waiting for her.

“Supergirl is your chauffeur for the next while,” Kara said, “and don't you 'but Kara’ -me-. We can't risk anyone knowing where we are, and Lillian could have bugged every driver in this -city-.”

“She didn't steal -that- much money,” Lena grumbled. “We can't live in fear.”

“We aren't. We are being cautious. Plus, come on. You love flying with me.” Kara smirked.

“The only way I -will- fly anymore,” Lena muttered, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Eat, please. You forget too much,” Kara admonished.

“You have a spy in Emily, don't you,” Lena said, picking up the danish and taking a bite.

“Everyone on your floor, honestly,” Kara replied.

“I don't know why I try to run my own life when you do it for me.” Lena's voice held no bitterness, only love.

Kara grinned. “What can I say.”

“I’ve arranged my ride,” Lena told Hector via phone once she'd eaten everything Kara had served her, “but I’d appreciate if the other drivers would go to the places they've already been told about and act as if I'm being picked up.” She sighed. “Yes, I know. See you there.”

“He thinks his desk phone’s bugged,” she said as Kara scooped her up carefully.

“We’ll look into it. Your office definitely was, and there's no reason to expect it won't be again, so he's probably right. Ready?”

Lena wound her arms tightly around Kara's neck and breathed deeply to calm her anxiety. “Ready.” If she had to fly, being in Kara's arms was not only the safest way, but the most comforting. Especially now.


	12. Chapter 12

Lena spent an average day at work, doing her usual business things. Kara had put a small tin, presumably breath mints, in her bag, but Lena knew they were the emergency sedative. She hadn't had a panic attack in quite awhile, but if ever a situation warranted one, it was this. Their very presence made it easier to carry on, though, and Kara must have gathered that. Lena knew quite well that her mother didn't give two shits about L-Corp, so carrying on was easy enough. But keeping a serene face while conducting her business was what got to Lena. No one could see a crack in her mask, or Lillian would win.

“I'll see you later, Emily,” Lena said as she shouldered her bag and went out her office door.

“See you tomorrow,” Emily chirped.

Lena hated to do it, but she was going to ask the DEO to delve deeply into everything about her assistant. Surely Emily couldn't be on her mother's payroll. But nothing was safe around her, nothing and no one except Kara and the DEO.

Halfway down her usual commute in the elevator, Lena got off and walked quickly to a fire escape, which she deactivated neatly with a handheld device. On the other side was Supergirl, ready to take her home. The usual black cars that conveyed her from place to place would leave, staggered so it would look like she was trying to confuse her mother, to the places they'd come from in the morning.

Lena was exhausted by all the subterfuge. She was drained, unhappy, and desperately wanting to be done with the day. So when Kara pulled her close, ready to carry her, she put her hand to Kara's face and turned it to her for a kiss. Just like the ones they'd shared the night of the panic attack, lips closed and soft, seeking comfort.

Kara let the thrill run through her body at that. She closed her eyes and smiled as the kiss ended. -Lena wants to kiss me. Yesssss.- She fought the impulse to cup Lena's cheek, run fingers through her hair, kiss her again with more intensity. -Patience, Kara. The fire escape at L Corp is not the place for it.-

Lena bumped her nose against Kara's gently. “Take me home, Supergirl,” she whispered with a smile in her voice.

Kara did as she was told.

~~~

“This apartment is just so boring,” Kara complained once they'd both gone casual for the evening. She snagged Lena around the waist and cuddled her close.

“Company's great, though,” Lena replied, her body folding easily against Kara's.

“None better,” Kara said, wrapping her arms more firmly around Lena.

“Don't you ever get tired of hugging me?” Lena slipped her arms around Kara's neck.

“When hell freezes over, maybe.” Kara smiled. “You're my favourite snugglebug.”

“You are the world's most ridiculous flatterer,” Lena said, leaning in to touch foreheads with Kara.

“Sure. But is it flattery if I'm telling the truth?” Kara's hands began to slide up and down Lena's back. “Gosh, you're tense.”

“Life does that to me,” Lena said airily.

The angry grumble that escaped Kara made Lena laugh.

“She makes me want to do terrible things to her,” Kara groused.

“Everyone needs an evil mother-in-law, don't they?” Lena realized what she'd just said, and held her breath. They'd only agreed to -start- a relationship in the future, and here she was implying marriage.

“I wanna take you on a date before I have to deal with -that-,” Kara said. She noticed Lena's heart speeding up. “Breathe, please.”

Lena obeyed. “Sorry.”

“Come on, let's heat up our leftovers, I'm -starving-,” Kara said, loosening her hold on Lena and looking over her shoulder into the kitchen. She knew Lena was uncomfy with her slip-up, and she wanted to make sure Lena relaxed again. -She deserves to relax.-

Lena did relax over dinner, and she let Kara work out some of the knots and tension in her back afterwards.

“Your hands are amazing,” Lena said from underneath the curtain of her hair. She should have pulled it back, but she didn't care.

“Please let me know if it's too hard,” Kara replied. “To me this is barely applying pressure, so I won't know what's too much.”

“It's great right now,” Lena said. “It's doing a lot of good.”

“Okay.” Kara kept the same pressure as she ran her thumbs down either side of Lena's spine. “I could play these like guitar strings. That's not good for you, Lena.”

“My life. Maybe I'll hire one of those mobile massage therapists.”

“And you'd give up lunch to do it since you wouldn't stop during the workday,” Kara replied quickly. “Bzzt, wrong.”

“Okay, when this is all over, I'll find someone I can go to right after work. Would you accept that?”

“Yes. But only if you came home -right after- for dinner.”

“Heaven forbid Supergirl has a late dinner,” Lena laughed. “I don't imagine a hangry hero would win many brownie points.” She hadn't missed that Kara insisted she come -home- after work. She smiled, knowing Kara couldn't see it. -My sweetheart.-

“This is why I snack,” Kara said. “And ooh, I should totally buy brownies tomorrow.”

Lena sighed as a wave of fatigue due to lactic acid hit her. “Okay, I surrender, I'm done.”

Kara stroked up and down Lena's back a few times to end the massage before scooting away and letting Lena sit up.

“You turned me into goo,” Lena informed her, rolling her shoulders and flopping back against the couch. “That's the reason I'll give for missing the board meeting tomorrow.”

“Ooh, if you're skipping then I am too,” Kara said, grinning. “Movie marathon!”

Lena laughed, finding Kara's hand and lacing their fingers. “If only.”

“Yeah. The drawbacks of living with National City’s busiest woman. Except maybe Miss Grant.”

Lena looked over and smiled. “You should be used to it because of Cat.”

“I didn't live with her. And hugs were for special occasions.” Kara scooted over and laid her head on Lena's shoulder. “This is so much better.”

“I'm glad. Even if we are under threat level red,” Lena said, sighing. 

“It'll be over soon. The DEO will find her and take her down. We've already managed to shut down some cells.”

“Your agency is fantastic,” Lena said. “I'm glad they're on -my- side.”

“I'm glad -you’re- on -my- side.” Kara rubbed her cheek against Lena's shoulder.

“I'm going to die of adorable, and it's all your fault.” Lena sighed with fake exasperation.

“My other friends call me a puppy, so yeah, it's my fault.” Kara laughed.

“They call you a puppy to your face?!”

“No. Some of them are just bad at remembering when comms are on,” Kara giggled.

“The big bad scary DEO can't remember when comms are on, and they call their resident superhero a puppy. Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear.” Lena's free hand crept onto Kara's knee, but stayed there. She wanted the touch, but they were waiting. And she would do everything perfectly to earn it.

“What kind of puppy do you think I'd be?” Kara wished Lena's hand would slide up just a -little-. She'd had boyfriends signal intent that way before. But they were waiting. She would be good and not put her hand over Lena's, slide it up herself. She'd leave that to the daydreams.

“Golden retriever,” Lena answered instantly.

“You've been talking to them, haven't you?!”

Lena laughed, turning her head so she could kiss the top of Kara's head. “Nope. It's just you. And when I'm bored and can sneak using my phone in meetings, I watch puppy videos.”

“The ones I text you?”

“Yep.”

Kara giggled. “Yay!”

“See? Golden.” Lena put her arms around Kara's waist and pulled her close, settling her against her side. “It's just what you are.”

“If it's your opinion, I accept,” said Kara, nuzzling into Lena's neck, which was fast becoming her favourite place to be. It was also getting harder and harder not to ask Lena out, as much as she wanted to do everything right and wait til both of them were ready and stable. “But don't tell Winn or James. They like to think it's their idea.”

“I solemnly swear,” Lena intoned, laughter behind her voice. She slid one hand up and started combing through Kara's hair. She was so happy. She'd be happier if Kara was her official girlfriend, though. But they both had to be stable first. And Kara said she would wait. Lena would wait, too. They would do it right.

Neither one of them felt like watching anything, so they just cuddled until Kara's phone squeaked at them.

“Only you would have a hamster ringtone,” Lena said as Kara tried to look at her texts while moving as little as possible.

“Ugh, it's the DEO,” Kara grumbled. “I gotta go deal with something.”

“Okay.” Lena began to untangle herself from Kara.

“I don't think I'll be long. Will you be okay?” Kara couldn't help herself, she smoothed Lena's hair behind her ear, thumb lightly tracing her cheekbone, as they parted.

Lena nodded. “Yeah. If I'm not, all I have to do is call for someone on the security detail.” She pointed at the small burner phone. “Someone will come up for me.” -You can trust me, Kara. I won't leave you again.-

“Okay. See you soon.” Kara kissed her on the cheek, and then changed in a flash and left, choosing the door and the flight of fire stairs instead of the window, which could attract attention.

Lena sighed, and went into the bedroom to check her piece and keep it with her. Just in case. It would buy her a moment if the apartment was ambushed, which would hopefully be enough time for Kara to come deal with the mercenaries she was sure Lillian had hired, just waiting to strike.

But Kara was back in two hours, sticky with alien goop, and Lena hustled her into the shower, tossing new clothes and a towel after her before taking the weapon from the small of her back and replacing it in her bag.

They both slept well that night, Kara being tired from the unexpected fight and Lena secure in the knowledge that nothing could happen to her inside Supergirl's arms.


	13. Chapter 13

Emily came up cleaner than Cat Grant’s office windows, but it was too late by the time the DEO discovered the existing custodial crew had been compromised.

Lena only had time to hit Kara's name on her cell phone’s call list, but the shriek as she was grabbed was enough. Emily had been reduced to a sobbing, injured ball on the floor and Lena was gone before Supergirl, having been busy with an alien threat, could punch angrily through the plate glass behind Lena's desk.

“She fought them,” Emily cried to Kara. “I tried to throw the lamp…” She showed Kara her hands, which were bloody from the broken artwork that had doubled as lighting.

“You did wonderful, Emily,” Kara soothed, pulling her gently to her feet. “Did they say -anything- while they were fighting you?”

“Just that the Luthor bitch was getting what she deserved,” Emily wailed.

Kara sighed and hugged her. “Alex, I need someone up here to take care of Miss Luthor's assistant, she's injured.” The sooner Emily was removed to comfort care, the sooner forensics could move in and take an extensive look. “I'm going to find her, I promise,” Kara said to Emily, who was clinging to her and still crying her eyes out. “I promise you. She'll be okay. You have my word, Emily.”

“Supergirl, do you hear Lena?” Alex asked over comms once Emily had been guided from the room, gauze pressed to her palms.

“I do, but barely. They've taken her somewhere with shielding.”

“But you're sure you hear her?”

“Would I be talking to you if I couldn't?”

Alex sighed. “Fair.”

“I'm going to sweep the city while the DEO does its thing here.”

“Let us know what you find.”

Then Kara heard what she dreaded. Lena's faint heartbeat fluttered too fast. -She’s having a panic attack.- Kara's eyes flitted over the office. Lena's bag was there. She had no defense against it. She bit her lip, clenched her fists, and shot out of the office so fast she created a sonic boom.

“Find me coordinates, Winn,” she ordered. “Anywhere that might be a shield against my hearing.”

“As fast as I can, Supergirl,” Winn assured her.

She could hear his fingers flying over the keyboard, and tuned it out in favour of focusing on the fluttery heartbeat.

Lena was being manhandled to a cell, and it was all she could do to -not- disassociate. She didn't have her medicine. She didn't have Bertha. She didn't have anything, and that was surely the way Lillian wanted it. As they threw her into a white room with a glass front and locked it, she found the furthest corner to huddle into and focus on her breathing. -Kara, can you hear my heart? Come find me, please!-

Winn rattled off a few sets of coordinates, and Kara went to check them. Each time, Lena was no closer. After awhile, the beat had evened out into sleep, much to Kara's relief. And she was still somewhere in National City, Kara knew that. -Where- remained the question.

~~~

Lena didn't mind the first day once the panic attack had passed. At least, she thought it was a day. Food was withheld, but she didn't care. She'd gone longer without eating purely by accident. She slept regardless of the light shining in. Kara was holding her in her dreams, after all.

Kara didn't sleep. She couldn't. She was thankful that Lena could, however. -Stay strong, Lena, I'll find you.- She checked what she felt had to be every secure facility in the area, only to find nothing. J’onn had ordered her to stand down and rest while they worked on it, but she could only lay under the sun bed, eyes wide open, and contemplate their next move. She couldn't go back to the apartment. Even if she wasn't tracked, it would be hollow and empty without Lena. Everywhere was hollow and empty. She hugged herself, trying to imagine Lena in her arms, but that only allowed traitorous tears to fall. -I’ll find you, Lena. If it's the last thing I do, I'll find you and hold you again.-

“So what do you want, -mother-?” Lena spat on the second day when Lillian walked in. “If you need another biometric lock opened, you'll have to hydrate me.”

“Oh, -Lena-. You think I didn't take care of that last time? It's no longer a concern,” Lillian purred. “This is your reeducation.”

“This again,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “If you want me to listen to you, I'm gonna need to pee first.”

“I thought you needed to be hydrated, dear.”

“That's right, you never -did- any medical studies like the rest of us,” Lena retorted. “You stayed home and, what, crocheted?”

Lillian's face remained impassive. “See to her needs,” she ordered the henchmen behind the door. “But that's all.”

“Elementary deprivation, always the mark of an amateur,” Lena taunted as Lillian walked out. She cooperated with her guards, getting to use the restroom and a plastic thermos of water before she was marched back into the cell. She knew what she was up against, now. Lillian had said “reeducation”. Presumably to an anti-alien state of mind. -And what would you do if you knew I was in love with an alien, Lillian?- Lena would call her “mother” only to her face. -If you knew I'd kissed her? That she kissed me? That we’ll be together when I get over everything you trained me to be?-

Lena fell asleep some hours later, once again imagining Kara's arms safely around her. -Find me, Supergirl. I know you will.-

~~~

“Hey, I brought you this,” Alex said, holding out a stuffed dog to Kara.

Kara was sitting on the sun bed, leaned back against the hood, a blank expression on her face. “Thanks.”

Alex unfolded Kara's arms for her and placed the large animal in them. “We are gonna find her, Kara.”

“I know. I hear her. She's asleep again,” Kara replied dully.

“Then why don't -you- sleep?” Alex asked softly.

“Until I know where she is, I have to keep listening,” Kara said. “She isn't safe. If anything happened to her while I was asleep…”

“I think you'd wake up,” Alex said, tucking a strand of hair behind Kara's ear. “At least promise me you'll try.”

“Okay.” Kara laid down in the bed, still holding the plushie.

“Thanks, sis,” Alex said, sighing.  
~~~

On day three, Lena woke up with the singular aim of getting herself out of the situation. She wasn't a damsel in distress. Being a victim wasn't doing anyone any good. So she plotted, like a good Luthor would. How much interest to show, how much resistance was needed, and how she could manipulate her way out of whatever compound this was. So that -when- Kara found her, she wasn't a sobbing mess of dysfunction, regressed back to the dark times when she nearly took her own life.

“How are you feeling today, my dear daughter?” Lillian asked as she walked slowly and deliberately towards Lena's cell.

“Hungry,” replied Lena, standing up and flipping her hair back over her shoulder. “And if you're going to lecture me for hours, I'd like a shower first. Comfort and whatnot. It might sink in better.”

Lillian smirked. “My, my. You -are- a Luthor.”

“Spoken like the only one with the name who isn't actually one,” Lena snarked, leaning against the wall. “So, what, mother? Are you going to actually make good on your threats to -reeducate- me,” and here Lena used air quotes, “or are we going to spend a few more days using the Terrorist 101 Handbook, chapter 2, Cowing Your Hostages?”

“Let her out,” Lillian told the henchmen, “and take her to her new home.”

“There had better be a shower,” Lena called after her.

There was indeed a shower, and afterward Lena put on the drab scrubs that reminded her of the prison uniform she'd worn the last time this happened. Dull but nourishing food was placed in front of her, and she ate all of it. Just enough cooperation that Lillian would keep throwing her scraps, possibly information she could use to escape.

~~~

“There's gotta be someplace we haven't checked,” Kara said, pacing. “Maybe someone has a basement.”

Winn shook his head. “You've x-rayed every quadrant of the metro area.”

Maggie suddenly slammed her hand on the table. “I can't believe none of us thought of it.”

Kara looked at her. “What?”

“L Corp. The building itself. -How- tall is it? And how much -don’t- we know about it?”

Kara's mouth dropped in shock.

“Getting those blueprints right now,” Winn called as he scooted back to his terminal.

“I'm going to go fly over it and x-ray,” Kara said.

“-Can- you fly?” Alex placed a hand on her arm.

Kara shook it off. “Look, I haven't been sleeping much, I know, but my powers are fine. And if it -is- L Corp...I'll feel better if we know that for sure.”

Alex sighed. “Okay. Be safe.”

Kara nodded. “I will.”

“And no going in there without all the backup, Kara, do you -hear- me?” Alex continued.

Kara nodded again. “I can't risk losing her.”

“You won't, kid,” and Maggie patted her on the shoulder, “I know you won't.”

Kara ran out of the DEO and jumped into the air.

Alex sighed. “I hope she actually keeps her promises.”

Maggie nodded. “But we're gearing up anyway?”

“Of course we are.”


	14. Chapter 14

“A lab,” Lena stated flatly. “This is your idea of convincing me to join the grand cause.”

“Well, yes,” Lillian said. “You're going to help engineer the weapon that brings down both Supergirl and Superman. I have Supergirl's blood, you see.”

“I heard about that,” Lena said sourly. “And what if I refuse?”

Lillian shrugged. “You can go back to that hole you were in til I take pity on you and end it. Lena, I do love you. But I think I have made it perfectly clear in the past that you are expendable.”

“Mother of the year,” Lena snapped, shaking her head.

“Do see it my way,” Lillian cooed. “It gives you a way to live another day.”

“At the expense of others,” Lena said.

“I know you had a friendship with Supergirl,” Lillian said. “But for all that, you don't even know her darkest secret.”

“What, her alter ego? My best friend? Mother, I have -eyes-. Also, I've been -living- with her. I don't know what you hoped to hold over my head here. Except that you want me to kill my closest friend.” Lena flumped onto a stool.

“I do. And I think you'll find it too good an offer to pass up, considering the alternative,” Lillian said.

Lena sighed. “Fine. Just get out of here. Don't -hover-.”

“Very well,” Lillian said, walking out and sealing the door behind her.

Lena rolled her stool over to the nearest counter and put her head in her hands. -Okay. Being in disbelief and sulking will buy me an hour. Then I have to prep. Prep can take me the rest of the day if I'm careful.- She continued to formulate her plan. She'd be damned if she was going to do any actual work on the bioweapon.

~~~

Kara flew around the L Corp building carefully. She x-rayed it as she circled. The building went underground several levels, and there were about three that were black to her. She listened for Lena, and yes, her heartbeat -was- slightly louder now. Muffled by the earth between them, but when Kara landed and walked into the lobby, it was unmistakable. “Confirmed,” she spoke into the comms. “On my way back.”

Back at the DEO, Alex looked at Maggie with no small amount of shock. “I can't believe she isn't punching through walls right now.”

Maggie laughed. “Babe, that's her -girlfriend- in there, trapped by her evil mother. Kara's grown up a little. She isn't going to do anything rash -now-. Wait til the actual strike team goes in. We'll totally see fireworks then.”

Alex sighed. “You're right. And wait, girlfriend?”

“They haven't said it yet. But they will,” Maggie replied.

Alex grinned. “About damn time.”

“Okay, Winn, did you get those blueprints?” Kara asked as she strode back into the main room.

“Yeah,” Winn said. “L Corp has three below ground levels.”

Kara snerked. “Yeah, okay, pull the other one. There are at least seven, and I think three of them are lead-lined. When I walked through the lobby, I heard Lena. Not much stronger than before, but enough to tell me she's there, underground. Most likely in the lead-lined ones.”

“So what's your idea?” J'onn asked, having walked up while Kara was talking.

“The underground section is one solid block,” Kara said. “So if we study the blueprints, we might be able to figure out how the mystery three floors are laid out. That gives us something to base a plan on.”

“I'm surprised you aren't punching walls,” Maggie said.

Kara glared.

“What? When it's Lena, you have a history of getting worked up.”

“I can hear her heart beating,” Kara said slowly, carefully, and firmly. “She's okay. If she's under duress, she's hiding it so well her heartbeat isn't changing. We know where she is and that she's okay. We can take the time.”

“Very good call, Supergirl,” J’onn said.

They bent over the table, studying the blueprints, deep in thought.

~~~

Lena had spent the day organizing the lab and re-sterilizing all the instruments. “What?” she asked Lillian when she was subjected to a walk-by. “I can't work unless everything's up to my standards. You -know- this. If you want me to do this, you let me do it my way. That's it.”

She had figured out, over the course of the workday, that she was in her own company building. There was no other explanation. Lena vowed to bulldoze the site and fill in the shifty underground levels the second she had control again. But the knowledge did give her perspective. As she was marched from the lab to her cell, she noted quietly where the stairs, fire exits, and other things that could be of use were.

Lena ate her tasteless dinner and lay down on the cot, pulling the blanket over and imagining, once again, that Kara was curled around her. It wouldn't be long til she saw Kara again, she knew it.

~~~

“Okay, so we filter in as if it's a normal day and we are doing business with the company. Hector has plants in security so nothing will trip and no one will suspect. Hector also managed to find the -actual- blueprint of the subterranean levels. We infiltrate, follow the plan, and get Lena out.”

“And if anyone's trigger finger slips when they see Lillian Luthor, that's fine,” Kara said icily.

Everyone turned to look at her in shock. Supergirl didn't kill. She made a point of -not- killing.

Kara shrugged. “What?”

“Try to keep casualties to a minimum,” J'onn continued. “Bring as many to justice as you can.”

Kara figured the wig was going to kill her before CADMUS even had the chance to try.

“You -can't- walk in there as Kara Danvers,” Alex reminded her. “You won't get where you need to be.”

“Ugh, this thing is so -itchy-,” Kara complained.

“Once you're in, you can take it off. But til then, leave it in place and don't scratch at it!”

Kara managed to get through the L Corp security rodeo (easy as she didn't bring any weapons) and headed off presumably to the elevator. She seethed at everyone going blithely about their business as if their CEO wasn't being held against her will somewhere. But Lena would insist upon such things, she knew. Couldn't bring the worldwide conglomerate to a screeching halt just for an inconvenience. Kara slipped through the side door she'd been directed to and trotted silently down the stairs, ditching the wig at the first opportunity.

Alex and Maggie cleared security and headed for another hidden door, this one containing an elevator. Other DEO agents were doing the same.

“For a secret bunker, this place has too many exits,” Winn remarked over comms.

Kara listened at every floor until she found the first lead-lined one. She strained, but Lena's heart was no closer. She went down another floor, same thing. The third floor yielded just the slightest increase in volume, but it was enough. “Found her,” Kara murmured. “Level 5.”

“Okay, let us find out what you're up against before you break the door down,” Alex replied.

“Roger.” Kara took the time to change into her super suit and measure up the door. Lead itself didn't matter to her strength; it just blocked her x-ray vision and dulled the other senses. She could pull it away easily.

“Five hostiles,” Maggie said into the comms. “Lena is in some sort of lab. Alone.”

“Can I go already?”

“Hold on,” J’onn said. “Give us another moment. We have to coordinate a simultaneous attack on all the floors.”

-I’m coming, Lena.- Kara readied herself.

“Go!”

Kara ripped the door off its hinges.

The guards were easy to subdue, just a small amount of fighting and they were down, exactly as she suspected.

Lena rose to her feet, sweeping away the tubes in front of her, letting them smash to the ground. She wouldn't let a single iota of her false research fall into her mother's hands. But then, gas started to hiss in from an air vent. -Oh, clever.- She banged on the clear wall in front of her. “Supergirl!”

Kara looked over and saw that Lena's lab was being gassed. “Help me,” she ordered into the comms.

“We're coming, kiddo,” Maggie said, clearly fighting multiple people from her tone.

Kara used super speed to get over to the lab, and she began punching the same place in the wall over and over. It was strong stuff, but it was cracking. Then another guard pulled her away and attacked her.

Lena took her stool and began battering it against the crack Kara had made, taking shallow breaths and trying not to breathe in the gas. She couldn't tell what it was, and she had no time to figure it out. She managed to make a hole before the blackness overtook her. “Kara,” she managed to gasp.

“Time’s up,” Kara informed the man she was fighting with, and the angry punch that connected with his jaw held lethal force. She dropped him and went back to the lab, seizing the hole Lena had made with both hands and pulling it apart easily. The wall shattered, and Kara scooped Lena up. “I've got her,” Kara said into the comms. “They gassed her with something.”

Kara ran out of the building, holding Lena close, not caring at all who saw.


	15. Chapter 15

“What I want to know is, how did they manage to hyper-concentrate chloroform like that?” Winn asked Lena, who was lying down on a bed in the DEO’s medical bay, having traded the scrubs for a spare black polo and pants. “You would have died if Kara hadn't pulled you out.”

“Beats me. But I feel like my lungs have glass embedded in them,” Lena said, putting the oxygen mask over her face again.

“Kara's coming,” Winn assured her so she wouldn't have to ask. “I'm pretty sure she's fidgeting so much J’onn will get mad at her and dismiss her.”

Lena laughed into the mask before pulling it aside and sitting up. “That's my girl.”

“She is, isn't she?” Winn asked. “It's been kind of obvious.”

“We haven't...said...it yet,” Lena admitted.

Winn motioned that she should put the mask back on. “I'm pretty sure it'll be said soon.” He spotted Kara walking down the hall. “In less than two minutes is my guess. See ya, Lena.”

He passed Kara at the door, giving her a little punch on her shoulder.

“How are you feeling, Lena?” Kara asked as she strode over.

Lena looked at Kara over the mask, shrugged, and rolled her eyes.

Kara pulled her into a tight hug. “I love you.”

Lena moved the mask. “I love you more.”

Kara let her go, but held both her shoulders. “I said I'd wait for as long as it takes. I think I lied to you. I freaked out bad when they took you. Even the thought that I might not see you again...I don't think I can bear it anymore. I want to be with you so bad I can't think about anything else now that you're safe. And I know it's putting another huge target on your back, so I wouldn't blame you if you didn't feel the same way anymore. I mean, you're already so--”

Lena laughed, cutting Kara off. “You've waited long enough. We both have, I think. If we wait for perfect, it'll never happen. So I don't want to wait anymore.” The sudden laugh hurt, so she put the mask back on.

Kara inhaled sharply. “Really?” She stared at Lena for a long moment, processing that statement. -Did she just say she can't wait anymore either? That we should date, finally? That she's okay with it? Is Lena ready to date ME!? Oh Rao, is this really happening?-

Lena huffed and pulled the mask away. “Kara Zor-El, if you don't kiss me for real in the next three seconds, I--”

Kara wrapped Lena in her arms and kissed her like the world was ending.

Winn saw the kiss from where he was peeking around the corner and he couldn't help himself. “Yesss!” he whispered, giving a fist pump. Then he scurried off, texting James that he won the bet and was owed twenty bucks.

Lena whimpered into Kara's mouth and managed to wind her arms around Kara's neck. -I earned this.- Of course her feelings hadn't changed. The target on her back would always be there, whether her relatives were alive or not. It was part of being a Luthor and being the head of a huge company. She loved Kara, that's all there was to it. She belonged to Kara now, and they were finally, finally kissing the way she'd dreamed of for years. Lena let her wobbly, emotional knees give out on her, since Kara could hold her. 

Kara was focusing on how good, how right Lena felt in her arms, against her lips. Yes, this was what she fought for. The woman she loved so completely, the one fate had thrown in her way and she'd instinctively refused to let go. She'd -never- let go. Not Lena. Not as long as Lena wanted her. And then she felt Lena melt against her, needing full physical support, and she reveled in that shamelessly. -I can finally be everything to and for you that I've wanted to be now, Lena. Finally, finally, finally.-

“Take me home, Kara,” Lena panted, finding her footing again. Her lungs still felt like molten lava, and having the air kissed out of her didn't help, but she was ready to leave, oxygen mask be damned.

“Where?” Kara adjusted her hold just enough to let Lena stand, but kept her as close as possible.

“Home is with you, wherever it is,” Lena said softly.

“I never thought I'd hear you say that,” Kara replied. Her stomach was absolutely filled to the brim with butterflies, but she also felt serene. She was Lena's now. Lena was hers. Officially. And they were each other's home. That’d been true for awhile, but it was still amazing to hear Lena say it out loud.

“I've been waiting to for months. Take me home. Please. Where we can be alone.” Lena looked up at her, letting the need and love show on her face. The stone had been fully shattered. She was ready, she knew it. Ready to really start a life with Kara.

“Your wish is my command, Lena.” Kara squished the uber-giddiness that accompanied saying such a silly, romantic thing to the one she loved. Otherwise, she'd probably need to do laps around the building. “You're wonderful.”

Lena smiled indulgently. “Ssh, not here. I have a reputation to uphold.”

Kara kissed her gently. “Too bad. I'll go shout it from the rooftops. 'L Corp CEO absolutely amazing person, news at 11.’”

Lena rolled her eyes. “More like 'Catco reporter totally twitterpated by evil heiress, exposé at 11.'”

“You're not evil!” Kara frowned and stomped her foot.

Lena sighed in exasperation, then laughed. “Kara Zor-El, what am I going to do with you?”

“Whatever you want.” Kara grinned.

Lena's laugh turned into a cough, which escalated in hacking intensity until Kara pressed the mask back over her face, indicating that she should hold it.

“Okay, you need more oxygen before we go home. Wanna hear about how we found you?” Kara asked, going over and retrieving the stuffed dog she’d made a permanent dent in from hugging it too hard, passing it to Lena. “Here, Alex gave it to me while you were gone, because I needed something, anything.”

Lena nodded, sliding her free arm around the plushie where Kara's had been. She wasn't sure it was possible to love Kara more than she did at that exact second. She breathed carefully and methodically as Kara burbled on about the rescue and the wig she had to wear.

~~~

Kara flew them back to her apartment over Alex's protests that really, Lena should stay and be observed a while longer.

“She wants to go home, and I'll watch her,” Kara insisted.

Lena just clung to Kara and closed her eyes.

“No excessive physical activity,” Alex said with a frown.

“Alex!” Kara was indignant. She wasn't going to take Lena home just to ravish her, she thought to herself. Then a certain few images from her daydreams appeared in her mind, and she fought to keep her blush hidden.

“Promise,” Lena replied softly. That was something she still had to earn, she realized. Much as she dearly wished they could consummate their new relationship immediately, she knew slow would be the best way.

“Okay, off with you. I don't like it, but no one argues with Supergirl,” Alex huffed.

“Except her sister,” Lena said, opening her eyes.

Kara laughed and squeezed Lena gently. “Come on, let's go -home-.” She looked down at Lena with a smile she knew was definitely doofy, but she didn't care anymore.

The brilliant grin Lena gave her in return was worth fighting a thousand CADMUS goons for, Kara thought. Lena didn't often let her softer side show, she had to be tough as nails in the boardroom and to the public, but here, among safe people, she could let down her guard.

The only thing Lena wanted at that moment was to be swept into her girlfriend's arms and taken home. She was exhausted from both her captivity and the outpouring of emotion. So she slipped her arms around Kara's neck and let her pick her up, sighing happily and nuzzling into her neck just a -little-.

“Get out of here, lovebirds,” Alex said teasingly, “before I develop diabetes.”

“Just getting you back for all the tooth-rotting cute with you and Maggie,” Kara replied, walking to the window and taking off.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, there's where that M rating starts, indeed.

When they got home, Kara laid Lena into the bed carefully.

“I'm not made of glass,” Lena laughed as Kara took her shoes off for her.

“You're the most precious thing in my life,” Kara replied. “You can't expect me not to treat you like it for at least a couple hours.”

Lena smiled. “Just this once.”

Kara whirled out of her Supergirl uniform in seconds, coming back in comfy clothes and crawling onto the bed next to Lena.

Lena shifted on her side so she could stroke Kara's face and thread her fingers into her hair. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Kara whispered. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you,” Lena murmured. “Wanna know how I slept in there?”

“You did better than me,” Kara said. “How?”

“I imagined you were there,” Lena replied. “Holding me, like you always do at night. Telling me you loved me, to be strong, that you'd come for me as soon as you could find me. To keep my heartbeat strong, so that you'd be able to hear it. You'd come for me. You loved me. And I got by.”

Kara’s hand slid down from Lena's waist to her thigh. “You should quit saying things I want to kiss you for.”

Lena lifted her knee and hooked her leg slowly over Kara's in response to the caress. “Or maybe you could just kiss me.” She shivered, still in semi-disbelief that this was real, they were doing this, they were finally -together-.

Kara pressed her lips to Lena's, feeling them part, so she slipped her tongue gently into Lena's mouth, deepening the kiss. -You're mine now, Lena. This sweetness belongs to me. I earned it. I love you.-

Lena sighed happily and met Kara's tongue with hers, her hand sliding back around Kara's neck to keep her close. -You're all mine, finally. I'm the one who gets to have this now. I deserve it. I love you, Kara.-

“I've been wanting to do that for -so- long, you don't even know,” Kara said when the kiss ended.

“I have a good idea, if it's anywhere near as long as I have,” Lena replied. “But I was stuck in my own head for too long.”

“You had some really traumatic stuff happen to you,” Kara said. “I was just so scared when you wouldn't let me in anymore. I was alone, and even though I didn't know it yet, I was yours. I’ve always been, I think.”

“I couldn't feel,” Lena whispered. “I couldn't feel anything. And the fact that you felt so much for me scared me, because I'd pushed down what I felt for you. I've been yours for so long, Kara. Even when I swore I'd never get a chance, some part of me always wished that every time you were near, you'd get close enough, take off the glasses, and ask for a kiss. Or swagger up to me while wearing the cape and ask if I'd fancy a smooch." Lena smiled at that. "God, I envied Lois so much once I put the whole puzzle together."

Kara sighed. “I love you, Lena. I think that's been true for almost all of the time I've known you. The first time you smiled at me and said my name, I was a goner.” Kara smiled softly. “The sun was so bright around you, you looked angelic, and I'd never had anyone smile at me that way before. Sheesh, if my cousin hadn't been in the room, I was so overwhelmed, I might -have- asked for a kiss. Or any time after that.” Kara frowned. “Oh god. That sounds like all I want is just to make out.” She blushed. "And you don't have to envy Lois anymore. I'll kiss you as Supergirl any time there's no cameras around to blow my cover."

“You've been the light in my life since you entered it, and you've given me too many chances for common sense.” Lena pulled her in for a soft kiss. “And I would love nothing more than to make out with you. For a long time. But you look exhausted.”

“I didn't sleep much while you were gone,” Kara admitted.

“I decided I had to, because I didn't know how long I'd be there. And I had to be able to fight when you found me.”

“You believed I'd find you.”

“I -knew- you would. So long as my heart stayed strong for you, I knew you'd find me."

Kara made a noise that sounded like a whine and buried her face in Lena's shoulder.

“You said once that as long as you were still my hero it was okay. And you always will be,” Lena said, stroking Kara's hair. “My lungs still hurt. Why don't we take a nap?”

“Okay,” Kara replied, pulling her face away from Lena's shoulder. “I'm pretty sure they changed the sheets after the break-in. Bullets everywhere and stuff. But first, I'm taking you out tomorrow night. Where do you want to go?”

Lena smiled. “Is this a date?”

“Darn right it's a date. I'm going to hold your hand and walk into the place with you and look at you like you're the most wonderful person ever, which you are, and you're going to let me, please.” Kara couldn't help herself, she kissed Lena again. There were so many missed kisses to make up for.

Lena kissed back happily, reveling in the sweetness. “Okay. How about the new French place on 9th? I hear they have some nice, secluded tables in there.”

“6pm.” Kara smiled. She would absolutely drop Miss Grant's name. She'd even call her if she had to. She would have that reservation no matter what.

“It's a date. Now that's settled, nap?” Lena couldn't stand the bags under Kara's eyes. It was a testament to how badly she'd worried about Lena; how anguished she'd been. Lena had pushed her own feelings about the kidnapping down, as was her wont, but Kara wore her heart on her sleeve, and her suffering was visible, too. But Lena knew Kara would bounce back. She just needed a little guidance.

“Anything you want.” Kara cupped Lena's cheek in her hand. “I'm dating the prettiest woman in National City. Everyone's going to be jealous.”

Lena turned her head so she could kiss Kara's palm. She would normally refute the compliment, but they were a couple now, and Kara would insist.

They managed to get underneath the covers, Lena turning on her side away from Kara and Kara immediately curling around her.

“Yes, this,” Lena sighed happily.

“I don't think I can sleep without this anymore,” Kara said with a yawn.

“I plan to make sure neither of us have to,” Lena replied.

“Mm, you're so totally my favourite,” Kara said, arm tightening around Lena's waist. “Forever.”

“Likewise,” Lena murmured, letting the comfort and warmth take her under.

When Lena woke, she found she'd rolled over into Kara and that Kara was still holding her tightly.

At the change in Lena's breathing, Kara stirred and opened her eyes. “Hey, love,” she said softly. Then she grinned, because she could -say- it now.

“Hey, babe,” Lena whispered back.

“So this really isn't a dream,” Kara continued, refraining from squeaking happily at Lena's new pet name for her.

“I can pinch you if you want to check,” Lena replied.

“Can I kiss you instead?” Kara smiled. Lena gazing into her eyes was the definition of heaven, she was pretty sure.

“Oh, please. -Please-,” Lena breathed, sliding a hand up behind Kara's neck to bring her in.

Kara kissed her, Lena pulling her in and fitting her body completely to Kara's.

They stayed like that for some time, softly exploring each other and losing themselves to the sensations. Kara ended up rolling them so Lena was under her, but their bodies stayed together as if glued. Lena figured her goosebumps were never going away, and Kara hadn't known her own goosebumps -could- go on that long, since she'd never been cold in her life on Earth, not really.

Kara learned that brushing her hand over either of Lena's breasts yielded a soft sigh and a roll of her hips. Lena figured out that Kara loved to have her neck bitten, harder than a human would normally like. Kara found that gently sucking on Lena's fingertips yielded a whispered but fervent “oh god Kara, don't -tease-” in her ear. Lena learned right after that Kara really, really liked having her hair pulled.

Finally Kara's stomach rumbled, startling them. Kara pulled her mouth away from Lena's neck, and Lena bit back the whimper that wanted to escape her as Kara lifted her head up.

“Oh, why can't we stay here forever,” Kara groused, running her fingers through her hair to push it back out of her face. “I could do this forever.”

Lena smiled. “Me too. But we do have to eat dinner.” She didn't like capitulating to it either, but part of loving Supergirl was taking care of her.

Kara leaned down and kissed her. “Yeah. Doesn't mean I like it.”

Lena chuckled. “Kara Danvers not wanting to eat. What in the world’s become of her?”

“Getting what I've wanted so so much will do that to me, I guess,” Kara said.

“Come on,” and Lena patted Kara's shoulder, “let's go eat and then we can ignore something on TV while we keep doing this.”

Kara grinned. “If you put it that way.”

After dinner, Lena cleared the table and set the dishes in the sink, washing her hands. As she turned away from the sink, Kara was there, close enough to signal intent but not enough to be startling. Lena smiled. “Hello again.”

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Kara quipped.

Lena slipped her arms around Kara's neck and snuggled in, Kara wrapping her arms around Lena's waist in response.

“Lena,” Kara whispered after a second, “I know it might be too fast, but I...I want to…” She stumbled over the actual words.

“Yes,” Lena replied, kissing Kara's ear. “The answer is yes.” She shivered, but in anticipation. She'd been ready for -months- to be physically intimate with Kara. She felt her heart rate pick up, and she knew Kara would hear it too.

“But I didn't…” Kara couldn't believe her ears. She'd allowed herself to hope that Lena would want to go further than they'd already gone, but she hadn't really expected that Lena, her gorgeous Lena, would let her so quickly.

“Anything you could possibly want tonight, babe? Yes. -Yes-.” Lena tightened her hold to punctuate her consent. She wanted anything Kara wanted, she knew that completely. She'd waited for so long, anything would be perfect. “I need you. It doesn't matter how.”

“Let me carry you,” Kara said quickly. She -needed- to feel Lena in her arms, safe and well. Not being able to touch her, -hold- her for days had taken more of an emotional toll on Kara than she'd realized.

Lena shifted to the side so Kara could pick her up in the usual bridal hold, burying her face in Kara's neck as she was lifted. Kara's warmth felt so good, so comforting. And being carried signaled Kara's ongoing promise to keep her safe.

“I want to try something, on the couch,” Kara said.

“Mmhmm.” Lena kissed Kara's neck gently. Actual words would have required she move her head, which she absolutely did not want to until completely necessary.

Kara walked over to the couch and sat down, turning Lena so they were both facing the television. Lena grumbled at first, but then she realized what Kara was doing and positioned herself properly.

“May I touch you?” Kara whispered into Lena's ear. She could run her hands all over Lena's body much easier this way.

“Hurry up,” was Lena's response as she took Kara's hands and placed them on her breasts. “I need you, Kara, I -need- you.”

Kara closed her eyes and let her head drop so her nose was in the curve between Lena's neck and shoulder. Then she ran her thumbs over Lena's nipples.

Lena inhaled sharply. She knew her body was more sensitive than usual because of her intense feelings for Kara. She allowed herself to hope that it would always be like this, now and forever.

Kara massaged Lena's breasts for a few moments, then slid her hands down Lena's stomach and underneath the black polo. “Take it off?” she whispered.

Lena pulled the shirt off quickly. “Better?”

Kara's response was to mouth at Lena's neck while running soft fingertips all over the newly revealed skin. Lena was -so- soft and beautiful to touch, Kara thought.

Lena tried to keep her breathing level, but when Kara's hands slid back up to her breasts and groped a little more confidently, she gasped.

“Okay?” Kara asked, pausing.

“It was a good noise,” Lena breathed. “Please don't stop.”

“Yeah,” Kara exhaled before returning to nipping at Lena's neck and letting her hands roam as they would.

Lena ran her hands down Kara's thighs as best she could, reveling in the feel of the muscles under her fingertips. She squeezed lightly, to see what that would do. Maybe Kara would like it.

“Wait, wait, no,” Kara said softly. “Just you right now. Please?” She vowed to tell Lena why after that. There wasn't any sense keeping any type of secret from the love of her life any longer.

“Okay…” Lena didn't pursue it, just focused on keeping her hands to herself and letting the sensations crash through her. She almost wanted a wall to slap, but the couch wasn't near any.

Thankfully for Lena, it wasn't long before Kara unbuttoned the slacks, slipped her hand underneath Lena's waistband, and went in for the kill.

“Oh, -Kara-,” Lena moaned, turning her head so she could nuzzle Kara's neck.

“This is good?” Kara had never, ever done this on anyone but herself, so she tried to interpret Lena's reactions.

“Inside me,” Lena gasped. She couldn't believe how ready she was with so little foreplay, but she -needed- this. Needed Kara.

Kara obeyed, and Lena threw back her head, arched her back, and let out a long cry. Kara closed her eyes and let the feelings course through her. It had never felt this easy, this right, this -amazing-. She was giving, but she felt as if she was getting -so- much at the same time. And Lena felt -wonderful-, just right. Taking a chance, she slipped a second finger in as Lena arched against her.

Lena turned Kara's face to her and kissed her desperately. She was finally, -finally- being taken by the one she loved, and nothing had ever felt better in her life. She felt Kara's free arm snake around her hips to pin her down, make her thrusts shorter and more intense against Kara's fingers. She whined into Kara's mouth in appreciation.

There was nothing Kara wanted more than to guide Lena to release, give her what she deserved, finally. So she matched her rhythm to that of Lena's hips, kissed her deeply, and stayed alert for any other signs of what to do for her lover.

But Lena didn't need anything more. Kara was wrapped around her, filling her, completing her. She broke the kiss to throw her head back again, fingers tangling in and tugging Kara's hair as she came, the moan she'd meant to release coming out as a shriek.

“Lena, oh Rao, you're -so- beautiful,” Kara whispered as she started to pull her fingers out. The rush, the intensity, and how Lena just completely let go with her--Kara had never experienced such a thing, ever. It took her breath away.

Lena put her hand on Kara's wrist. “No, god no, I come down slow. Don't stop yet.”

Kara obeyed, letting Lena set the pace and intensity, which slowed with each thrust until Lena patted Kara's wrist and she withdrew gently.

“Was I okay?” Kara asked nervously as Lena composed herself and turned to the side so they could see each other.

“Was my screaming not enough?” Lena kissed Kara's cheek. “Should I be louder next time?”

Kara smiled and blushed. “I...guess I was okay then.”

“I've never had better,” Lena murmured in Kara's ear. “I'm not just saying that.”

Kara shivered and a small moan escaped her. “Promise?”

“Promise.” Lena nibbled on Kara's ear. “Can I touch you too?”

Kara shivered again. “Tomorrow? This was intense. Really intense.”

“I just don't want it to be one-sided,” Lena replied. “I want to give you everything you're giving me.”

“It isn't,” Kara breathed. “I just...you -gave- yourself to me. No one's ever...not like that before. Intense.”

“Really?” Lena couldn't believe her ears. “No one...no one's -ever- really let go with you?”

“If he--they did, I didn't feel it,” Kara stumbled. “Not like you did. I felt like I went with you.”

“Oh, -darling-,” Lena whispered into Kara's ear. “I'm sorry.” She felt a twitch of anger. If Kara had never felt real release with anyone, she didn't know how amazing intimacy could be. And that was just -wrong- to Lena's way of thinking.

“It's okay,” Kara said, nodding once. “I know now. It doesn't matter anymore.”

“I want you to feel it the way I did,” Lena said, playing with the tiny hairs on the back of Kara's neck. “How amazing it is.”

“I think I'd overload,” Kara said quietly. “I'm sure you'll make me feel so good I'll forget to shield from everything, and it'll hurt. And then I might hurt you. Strength and all.”

“Oh,” Lena said. She hadn't thought about that, at -all-. Kara hid those aspects of her life so well that it didn't occur to her.

“So maybe...maybe just let me keep doing this til I figure out how to keep us safe?” It was the best way Kara could think to phrase it. She wanted to know and worship every inch of Lena's body, and maybe by then she could work something out with her own issues.

“Okay,” Lena said, kissing Kara's ear. She longed to return the favour, but they had time. So much time. As long as Kara wanted her, she would do whatever, whenever.

Kara tightened her hold on Lena. “You're amazing. I love you.”

“I love you more.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Gosh, Miss Luthor, I've never seen you in a better mood,” Emily remarked after about an hour into the workday.

Lena had been humming happily while dealing with the usual morning issues. She could handle them, always had, and it was fairly mindless. She smiled at Emily. “I have a date tonight.” -Why not? There's no reason not to trust her.-

Emily grinned, adjusting one of the bandages on her hands. “Did you ask Miss Danvers out? Or did she ask you?”

Lena laughed. “You're very observant.”

“It was kind of obvious.” Emily began typing. “I'm sad, I didn't win the betting pool. I was giving it two more weeks before one of you snapped.”

“Wait.” Lena blinked several times. “You are telling me. That there is a betting pool. Regarding my love life.”

Emily laughed. “Come on, Miss Luthor. If you'd seen the looks you two give each other, you'd be betting too. Now, for the bonus, come on, tell me. Who asked who?”

Lena took a minute to think, and then she sighed. “All things equal, Miss Danvers asked me.”

Emily grumbled and scratched at the bandage covering one of her palms. “I was so sure -you- would ask her, too.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “My employees need to find better things to illegally gamble on.”

“Is it illegal if it's rounds down at the bar?” Emily batted her eyes.

Lena sighed again. “Just don't bring it up in front of me.”

Emily gave her a jaunty salute. “Aye aye, Miss Luthor ma’am.”

“Oh my god, never call me ma’am again,” Lena groaned. “Go copy something so I can get my good mood back.”

Emily smiled and stood up. “I'll be back.”

“I know you're just going to giggle with Hector,” Lena called after her. 

Once the door closed, Lena sighed once again and pulled out her phone.

//My subordinates have been betting on my love life.//

//We were kind of obvious.//

//I suppose. Are you coming for lunch?//

//I wish. I have a section meeting. But I already told Hector what to order you, and Emily promised to make sure you eat it.//

//Kara, I'm not a toddler.//

//You ARE my girlfriend. And you need lunch. If you wouldn't skip it all the time I wouldn't need to ask everyone else.//

//Why do I love you?//

//The biceps.//

//Touche, babe.//

//You giving me pet names is everything. I love you.//

//I love you too. Emily bet that I would be the one to do the asking, by the way. She was miffed.//

//I think we asked at the same time?//

//No. You were the one to say you couldn't wait, and I agreed right after. You get the credit.//

“You're texting her, aren't you,” Emily said as she came back in with two cups of coffee that had clearly come from Hector's Keurig.

“Excuse me?”

“You're grinning at your phone,” Emily replied, putting one of the mugs down on Lena's desk.

Lena huffed. “Why does everyone concern themselves with my personal life and not their actual work?!”

“We like you,” Emily said, sitting down at her desk and smiling. “We like you happy.”

Lena sighed. “Every last one of you is impossible and you should all be fired.”

“Want me to get the pink paper?” Emily gave her a cheeky grin.

“Do your work,” Lena ordered.

“What time is Miss Danvers picking you up?”

Lena growled. “How do you know that?”

“I didn't. But you just confirmed it. What time am I closing your laptop?”

Lena sighed. “It's at 6.”

“Where?”

“Rue Lepic.”

“Okay, so you'll want the blue dress in the closet there, and you can wear the shoes you have on with it,” Emily said, “and is she picking you up here or at home?”

“Hold on.” Lena looked down at her phone.

//My assistant is also trying to run my life. Are you picking me up from here?//

//Emily? She's made of gold. Keep her, I'm serious. Would you like me to pick you up there?//

//It would help with all the work.//

//Your office, 5:45.//

“Yes,” Lena said aloud. “She says 5:45.”

Emily nodded. “You're shutting down 5:15 at the latest.”

//I love you, darling.//

//Holding on to that during this meeting. Snapper's been peeved all morning.//

//Did someone pee in his wheaties? Again?//

//Don't make me laugh! Gotta go.//

Lena laid her phone down and picked up her tablet. She had so much to do, as per usual.

Emily hid her pleased grin behind her laptop screen and focused extra hard on her work. She'd traded (careful) high fives and quiet hoots with Hector, who'd promptly texted Jess in Europe and almost immediately got back “omg f-ing finally where do I send the wedding gift”. Apparently Miss Danvers and Miss Luthor had been sighing after one another for nearly two years, but neither had admitted it. Emily hoped she'd never be that oblivious when someone actually showed interest in her. They were so pretty together, Emily thought. That was also the opinion of everyone else on the executive floor as well, which had led to the betting pool. Hector had won it, having changed his bet once Lena was kidnapped. It had been the one moment of levity in an otherwise terrible week for them. They all cared deeply for Miss Luthor, and her forcible removal had depressed them all. Emily spent the days dragging her pen listlessly back and forth across her desk as best she could, which had been moved next to Hector's until Lena was rescued. No one had called her on it either, the bulky dressings swaddling her hands a reminder of Lena's violent abduction and Emily's desperate attempt to hurt the kidnappers. The employees on the floors below had kept to their jobs as the news had been carefully concealed, but only Hector had managed to get -any- work done, and even then it was only answering the phone and lying about his boss's whereabouts. But they knew Supergirl would find Miss Luthor. They'd all figured out pretty quickly that the superhero was the reporter who kept coming for lunch, and Jess’s only response to Hector on that front had been “duh”. But they'd made a pact, since they knew what could happen, that they'd take their shared secret to the grave. All of them were invested in making sure Miss Luthor stayed as safe as possible, and that included hiding the identity of her best friend turned significant other.

Lena ate the lunch that was delivered to her, dictated several long memos to Emily, and was in the middle of another when her phone chirped with Kara's special tone.

//I survived.//

“Hold on, please,” Lena told Emily, whose grin was threatening to split her face in two. Emily knew very well whose tone that was.

//Did he go after you, babe?//

//No. Other people. But we all got yelled at.//

//Are you taking lunch now?//

//Yeah. In my office.//

Lena closed her eyes for a moment before responding. //It may be sappy, but I miss you.//

//Soon! The day might suck, but tonight is all ours.//

//You are too cute.//

//You signed on for it!//

//I did. Back to work for me.//

//5:45.//

//Confirmed.//

Lena resumed dictating.

Kara was true to her word, and at 5:45 on the dot she walked into Lena's office.

Lena had obeyed her assistant and changed into the blue dress at 5:15, which gave Emily enough time to undo Lena's ponytail and fluff it into something decent for evening while Lena retouched her makeup.

“This wasn't in your job description,” Lena tried to protest as Emily ran the brush through her hair.

“I want you to take her breath away,” Emily replied. “She helped me right after they took you. I was a mess but she was so gentle with me. She literally picked me up off the floor and held me, telling me she would get you back. She promised.”

Lena inhaled sharply at that. Emily was too smart for her own good. Of course she'd put two and two together.

“You should tell her glasses are a bad disguise.” Emily began to arrange Lena's hair around her shoulders.

Lena sighed. “Ugh, don't think I haven't tried.”

Emily laughed. “I still want that selfie.”

“You'll get it,” Lena replied. “She'll have to now.”

“I don't mean it that way!” Emily turned Lena around and smoothed the hair around her temples. “I just…”

“No, I know what you mean,” Lena said soothingly. “She's pretty awesome to hang out with.”

“Super?” Emily cocked her head and grinned.

“Keep that to yourself,” Lena warned.

“It makes sense, though,” Emily said. “No mere mortal is good enough for -you-.” She smiled as she fluffed Lena's hair one last time. “You're the only one worthy of her. And she's the only one worthy of you.”

Lena blushed. “Keep it to yourself…”

Emily nodded. “Always.” She checked her phone. “Ooh, it's 5:40!”

“I promise I'll only wait for her, I won't touch anything,” Lena said.

“I'm trusting you,” Emily replied warningly. “Not even the tablet.”

“No,” Lena said, moving to sit on the couch. “Not even the tablet.” She smiled.

Emily backed out, giving Lena a squint and an outstretched pointer finger.

Lena laughed. -Yes, she's a keeper.- She made a mental note to bump Emily's salary just enough to show she was appreciated, but keep her out of the next, more expensive tax bracket.

Of course, at that point Kara was already in the elevator, self-consciously fiddling with her hair.

“Miss Danvers, you look amazing,” Emily said as the doors opened.

“I told you, call me Kara,” she admonished, stepping out.

“She's waiting, and she promised not to pick any work up,” Emily said as she hurried into the elevator.

“Thanks!” Kara replied, waving as the doors closed.

Hector had left, and Kara walked to Lena's office door, taking a deep breath before opening it.

When she saw the door open, Lena stood up. She was glad Kara was so punctual, because she might have ended up fidgeting with her office decor otherwise. She brushed imaginary wrinkles out of her dress and looked at Kara, who had a cute dress and cardigan set on. Perhaps it wasn't the fanciest designer dress of the season, but Lena couldn't picture Kara in haute couture anyway. She looked perfect, sweet and unassuming as usual, her disguise from the world at large.

“Ready?” Kara asked, holding out her hand. She couldn't believe her eyes. Lena was dressed as if she was going to a fancy gala. The dress left just enough to the imagination that people would call it “classy”. Kara fought the blush as she realized there was no longer anything about Lena's body that had to be left to -her- imagination.

Lena placed her hand in Kara's. “Driver's waiting.”

They held hands during the elevator ride, and Kara resisted the urge to grin like the Cheshire Cat when they walked through the lobby, L Corp employees and visitors still in it, and Lena did not let go.

Emily had folded herself into a corner of the lobby so that she could see them leave, and she held in her squealing and rapid-fire texting of Hector til she got to the parking garage and inside her car. She hadn't been working for Miss Luthor that long, but she had come to care about her so much in that time. She'd seen her boss go from lost and sad-eyed to content if not happy due to the superhero and her clear love, and now they were not only together but showing the world. Emily was overjoyed to see the sadness finally chased from Miss Luthor's eyes. Hector had assured her that her job was pretty much ironclad now, and although she would probably be moved back into the hall with him, Miss Luthor would continue to rely on her, because she had so few employees she could actually trust. She'd only applied for the job in the first place for the benefits package, but L Corp was now the place she wanted to retire from.

The ride to the restaurant was short, and although some patrons stared at Lena, she held her head high as Kara spoke to the maitre'd and he took them back.

Lena's hand found Kara's as they walked to the rear of the restaurant. Kara -had- said first that she wanted to hold hands on their date. Lena would no longer wait for Kara to initiate touch. She deserved better than that.

Kara sighed happily. She was in an exclusive new restaurant with the prettiest woman in National City, and they were on a date. She knew that perhaps paparazzi were lurking, but the worst she could think of was that Snapper would say she couldn't interview Lena for the magazine anymore. But Kara hadn't cared about that in months. Not with Lena in her home, next to her in bed. The excuse to see her wasn't needed anymore.

They were seated in a secluded area in the back, and Lena ordered wine with the decisiveness of someone experienced.

“Hey, Lena?” Kara frowned. “I thought the menus would be bilingual.”

Lena smiled gently. “I'll order.” She placed her hand, palm up, on the table.

Kara quickly slipped her hand into Lena's. She thought she would burst with happiness. Their first date. Their real date. And Lena kept finding moments to hold her hand.

The waiter came back with the bottle, and Lena tasted it and gave approval without letting go of Kara. Then she ordered, the French rolling off her tongue easily. Kara could tell by the length of it that they were only getting a couple appetizers and an entree each, and her stomach grumbled as if on cue.

Lena waited til the waiter left before giggling just a little. “We aren't showing off your competitive eating skills here. Just enjoy this, and we'll get something else after.”

Kara smiled back. “Okay.” She sipped at the wine. She had no idea what constituted good wine versus two-buck chuck (Winn had said that once), but Lena seemed to like it, and that was all that mattered.

The food was good, too, Kara thought. Definitely not the kind of food you shoveled in for the calories. She'd had a snack beforehand, as she'd figured that was going to be the case, but she was going to need another dinner later for sure.

Lena watched Kara do her best to savour and eat slowly. -She’s so good to me.- Lena knew all of this was so that they would be seen together, that it was public acknowledgement of their relationship, but most importantly, Kara had never really gone out on a date with anyone. The abortive mission to break her up with Jack hadn't counted, Kara told her, because she and Mon-El had gone sleuthing right after. “I've never been on a date,” she had told Lena shyly that morning. “Not really, not as an adult. Meeting up with someone for drinks in the bar doesn't count, does it?”

“Only if you wanted it to,” Lena assured her.

“No,” Kara said immediately. “It doesn't, then.”

“Your first ever date, and it's with me,” Lena replied. “No pressure.”

“Lena, I don't need a big fancy gesture or anything. I just want to go on a date. With you. Be on your arm.”

Lena laughed. “The next gala I throw, you will be -on my arm-. To the exclusion of all others.”

Kara blushed. “Really?”

“What, should I choose a stuffy businessman who only wants to court my money?” Lena adopted a posh yet grumpy voice halfway through the sentence.

Kara whined. “Lena…”

“I'm going to teach you how to actually take jokes.” Lena kissed her softly.

Kara smiled when the kiss ended. “Anything.”

Lena was determined to make their date as special as it could possibly be. She ordered a decadent dessert for them to share, and Kara's eyes grew huge as the chocolate monstrosity was set before them.

“You don't eat things like this,” Kara said softly as she picked up the dessert spoon.

“When I have someone to share it with, I absolutely do.”

Kara thought she could drown in the smile Lena gave her. -I love her SO much.-

Lena's eyes sparkled as the dessert disappeared. She'd had a few carefully timed bites, but she wasn't really crazy about it. Kara, however, finished it off easily. Lena loved how passionate Kara was about food. About everything, really. It was what Lena was missing in her own life, passion for anything except work. But she had hope, now. Kara had been teaching her how to feel again, how to love. Surely some of the passion would rub off on her too.

The waiter had taken Lena's card beforehand, which Kara grumbled about, but Lena just smiled. “You are not paying on your first date ever,” she told Kara firmly. “That isn't how it works.”

“I'm paying for the next one,” Kara said instantly. “I asked you this time, and the one who asks pays, so you don't get to next time.”

“Sure,” Lena agreed, knowing that there was no way in hell she'd ever let Kara pick up the tab. Their income difference was enough reason, let alone Kara being the reason many times over that Lena was still alive.

When they got back in the car, the driver pulled away and went into the nearest drive-thru.

Kara laughed. “Really?”

“I don't want your stomach ruining the rest of our evening,” Lena replied, smiling.

Once the order had been placed and passed back, the driver turned onto the interstate.

“Where are we going?” Kara asked as she wolfed down her burgers.

“Somewhere we won't be stared at,” Lena replied.

“You're always so sensitive about that.”

“When you're a Luthor, it's constant,” Lena said with a touch of bitterness. “I don't mind being seen with you, in fact I think I love it, but I don't feel like being watched with a long lens for a paltry payoff -all- evening.”

Kara nodded. “Makes sense.” She squished the urge to smile at Lena's offhand remark about loving to be seen with her, because ground beef in your teeth was never flattering.

“Someone will probably have already done a cover mock-up, 'L Corp CEO Gay! Scandal?’ or some other nonsense,” Lena continued. “I'm worried about the blowback on you at Catco.”

Kara shrugged, efficiently polishing off the last of her food. “I'm sure Snapper will yell and insult me, but what's he going to do, forbid me from interviewing you? Every time I ever came in your office as a Catco employee, it was just an excuse to see you.”

“As long as you're sure.” Warm sparkles flew through Lena at Kara's admission about the work visits. -Just an excuse to see me…-

Kara nodded. “I am. And I want to go on as many more dates with you as I can.”

Lena laughed. “You say too many things I should kiss you for.” She leaned over and did so, since nothing stood in her way anymore.

Kara hummed happily. She couldn't remember feeling this wonderful since the first time she'd revealed her super powers.

The car stopped a moment later, and Kara broke the kiss to look out the window. “Where are we?”

“One of my family's properties,” Lena replied softly. “Or, I suppose, it's technically mine.”

The driver opened the door for them, and they got out, Lena exiting first to make sure he'd stopped at the right spot on the driveway.

It was a grand house, of course, but the sun setting over it was what made Kara gasp.

Lena smiled and took Kara's hand, their fingers intertwining. “Come on. That's not what I want to show you.”

Kara walked with Lena, taking it all in. The grounds were immaculately kept, and the path they were on wound around the house and kept going. “Did you ever live here?”

“Not as such. Spent a few weekends here and there, yeah, but not for very long.” Lena sighed. “I've gotten rid of most of the properties, but I kept this one. You'll see why in a second.”

They rounded a corner through the trees, and Kara gasped again.

There was a lake, a large one, with a dock leading out. There was a small motorboat tied up next to it, a canoe, and a couple of kayaks.

“We can go out,” Lena offered softly, “or we can just stay here.”

“Where are the other houses?” Kara kept looking all around her.

“There aren't,” Lena replied. “I own the lake, and a mile radius around it. So that no one could bother us while we were on vacation. Lionel was a bit of a recluse. I inherited that.”

Kara smiled softly at her. “Can we go sit on the dock?”

“Love to,” Lena said, leading her down.

Kara insisted on sitting on the edge, hiking up their dresses for safety and letting their feet dangle in the cool water. Lena wasn't sold on the idea of wet hose, but she'd be damned if she refused Kara anything.

“This is so beautiful,” Kara said softly as the sun itself began to slip under the horizon. She laid her head on Lena's shoulder, snuggling in.

Lena slipped her arm around Kara's waist. “This is one of my favourite places to be. Why I kept it.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Kara replied. “I love you, Lena.”

“I love you more, Kara.”

They watched the sun set, just like that, silent and together.

“Best date ever,” Kara breathed as the pinkish tones of the sunset began to give way to the light blue of approaching night.

“Your data set is too small for accurate analysis, darling.”

“I love when you get all scientisty at me,” Kara giggled.

“I'll do it more often.” Lena pulled her feet up out of the water. “We should head back, though.”

Kara did the same, kicking her legs in the air once she stood on the dock to get the water off them.

“Hey!” Lena protested as drops of water hit her dress.

Kara grinned. “You can buy another one. Don't make me push you in!”

“Oh, you wouldn't -dare-,” Lena replied.

“Not tonight, no,” Kara said cheerfully. “But maybe on the second date.”

Lena laughed and shook her head. “This is the thanks I get.” She loved Kara's sense of fun, though, and resolved to wear casual clothing if they were going to be anywhere near water soon.

“What kind of thanks do you want?” Kara's voice was suddenly seductive, and she cupped Lena's face with both her hands.

“I think you could come up with something,” Lena bantered, her tone matching Kara's.

Kara kissed her. It wasn't hard and needy, but it wasn't gentle and soft either. It -was- possessive, and Lena slipped her arms around Kara's waist and held on, returning the kiss with equal passion.

“I'm so, -so- glad I can finally do that,” Kara breathed against Lena's lips when the kiss ended.

Lena shivered, goosebumps rolling up and down her body. “I feel like I've waited forever for someone to do that, to finally claim me.”

“But you've had other dates, other partners,” and Kara pulled away slightly so she could look into Lena's eyes.

“And? Does that matter?” Lena felt a frisson of uncertainty run through her. -It doesn't, does it?-

“No,” Kara said, kissing her again quickly. “I'm just surprised that it's me who's claimed you first.”

“It has -never- meant as much before this,” Lena said softly. “I love you, Kara.”

“I love you more,” Kara responded happily.

“Come on,” and Lena unwrapped herself from Kara, “let's go home.”

“And when we're home, could I…?” Kara tried to form the words in her mouth, but failed outright. She was still the innocent kid from Midvale, she thought ruefully.

Lena laughed. “I’ve gotta teach you how to ask for what you want.” She kissed Kara gently. “Yes, you can make love to me again.”

Kara grinned. “I like that we're calling it that.”

Lena gave Kara a sideways grin and took her hand. “When we reach the other euphemisms, I'll let you know.”

Kara blushed and let Lena lead them back.

~~~

Jade received a letter at the club a few days later. She opened it in one of her few moments of privacy.

“Thank you for everything.”

Inside was a prepaid credit card. Jade smiled and tucked it away where no one would go looking, as she was sure it contained a significant sum. She'd seen the breathless headlines, and she knew why her favourite client hadn't come in for months. It clicked for her the minute she'd read the name Kara Danvers; why Lena had asked to call her another name. “I'm happy for you, baby,” she whispered to the letter. Then she headed out to her next client.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of that M rating. Oh, Kara, why are you like this...

Kara considered herself very good. She hadn't done more than hold Lena's hand in the car. She only kissed said hand in the elevator up to her apartment. So when the door was closed and locked behind them, she considered herself perfectly justified in gently pressing Lena against the door and kissing her with quite a bit of intensity.

Lena smiled against Kara's lips before twining her arms around Kara's neck and kissing back. She still wanted anything Kara wanted, that was for damn sure.

“Help me get this off,” Kara said, trying to find the zip behind Lena's neck.

“You're next,” Lena countered, pushing the cardigan back over Kara's shoulders.

Kara nodded quickly, and felt Lena guide her fingers to the zip. The dress fell away, and Kara started working on Lena's undergarments.

Lena saw the zip under Kara's arm and made short work of it. She reached around and unclasped the bra as well.

“Why do you have to wear all of this?” Kara grumbled.

“Some of us don't have perfect, super bodies, dear,” Lena said, helping slide the supportive garments off herself.

“Your body is perfect!” Kara exclaimed indignantly. She pressed Lena back against the door and kissed her thoroughly to remove that thought from her lover's mind.

“If only the world, especially the business and media worlds, thought like you,” Lena sighed as Kara ended the kiss.

“You -quit- that or I'll never get you into bed,” Kara grumbled.

“Is bed where you really want me?” Lena challenged gently as she pulled the rest of Kara's clothing off. “Or do you want me here?”

Kara pinned Lena against the door again with her body. “Dunno yet.”

They took a moment to appreciate how -good- it felt to have their bare skin pressed together, Kara's exhalation just this side of a moan.

Lena tangled her fingers into the hair at the back of Kara's neck. “We should’ve been doing this for months,” she breathed.

“Oh god, I feel like I could lose it right here,” Kara moaned.

“Don't,” Lena said quickly. “Don't lose the shielding.”

Kara shuddered and laid her head on Lena's shoulder. “Okay…”

“We can…” Lena put her hand on Kara's shoulder as if to put some space between them.

“-No-,” Kara replied, taking Lena's hand and tucking it around her waist. “I belong to you. I've got to be close like this. I -need- it.”

“We belong to each other,” Lena said softly. She traced lightly up and down Kara's spine. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Kara said instantly. She could do this. Lena's skin against hers, nothing at all in between them, felt so perfect she couldn't remember what it was like before. She focused on Lena's heartbeat and breathing, locking out all other noises. Just Lena, stroking her gently, waiting patiently. That thought brought tears to her eyes.

“Oh no, babe, what's wrong?” Lena pulled Kara's hair out of her face, smoothing it behind her ear.

“You're too good to me,” Kara choked out after a second. “Waiting on me to get it together.”

“I've waited for you since the first time we met,” Lena replied. “What's a few more minutes here?”

Kara let out a sob. “Lena…”

“Do what you have to do, and I'll wait for you,” Lena said. “I'm right here.”

Kara lifted her head up and kissed Lena firmly. She could kiss without losing the shield. 

“Do you want to go lie down?” Lena asked. “Like this.”

Kara thought about it for a moment, then nodded. It wasn't giving up, she told herself. They weren't going to stop, they were just pausing.

Lena slipped her hand into Kara's, and as they pulled away from each other, she took a long look up and down Kara's body. “Now I know what a goddess looks like.”

Kara blushed, but returned the appraising gaze. “Nah. Not unless you look in the mirror.”

Lena snorted. “Sure, Zor-El. Sure.”

Kara admired Lena's backside as they sauntered to the bed. “Your ass is illegal in fourteen states due to unbelievable perfection.”

“Oh, you silver-tongued superhero,” Lena bantered. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” She looked back over her shoulder.

“Only the one I want,” Kara smirked.

Lena pulled the duvet away when they got to the bed, and laid in it, beckoning Kara to come with her.

Kara made sure that every inch of her skin that was touching Lena's before was still doing so. She sighed, wrapping her arm around Lena's neck to play with her hair.

“How are you doing?” Lena asked softly.

“I'm working on it,” Kara sighed. “I should have just kept making love to you, like last night. I wouldn't be freaking out like this.”

“Last night was wonderful.” Lena reached up and touched Kara's lips lightly with her finger. “But I need it to be equal.”

“At the expense of me not making you feel good,” Kara said, eyes downcast.

“Kara Zor-El. We have -all night-,” Lena admonished. “Excuse not accepted.”

Kara looked up, into Lena's eyes. She'd never heard anyone say that to her; imply that more would come. “I've never…”

Lena smirked sadly; she knew what the rest of the sentence was. “It's always been at the whim of whoever, hasn't it? Not yours. You've never gotten to ask for more, have you?”

Kara sighed.

“Well, -I- like it,” Lena said, putting a hand on Kara's lower back to scoot her even closer, “because I get to teach you how it's really done.”

Kara smiled. Lena's enthusiasm was infectious. “Okay,” she said, tipping her face up for a kiss Lena gladly gave.

“How are you doing?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded. “Better.”

“Okay.” Lena reached down and pulled Kara's leg over hers so she could scoot in between them.

Kara bit her lip and made a small noise in response. Lena's skin against hers was now driving her desire up to unbearable levels.

“I'm not going to move it until you tell me it's okay,” Lena said.

“No, -now-,” Kara whimpered. “Please.”

Lena carefully brought her thigh up so she was right at, but not touching, Kara's core.

Kara whimpered again, grabbed Lena's face to kiss her hard, and ground down on her thigh.

Lena was surprised, but kept her leg still so Kara could do whatever she had to and kissed back with just as much intensity. She felt Kara's need, wet and pulsing, and it triggered a rush of need on her own part. -God, you wanting me so bad is too fucking hot.-

A moment later Kara broke away, her whimpering painful as she grabbed for her ears.

“Kara!” Lena found Kara's wrists and held them gently.

“I can't, I never felt this way, oh god,” Kara sobbed. “I -need- you but I hear everyone, everyone!”

“What helps?” Lena would get her girlfriend through this. It was part and parcel of loving Supergirl.

Kara took her hand off one of her ears, putting it on Lena's shoulder so she could rest her head against Lena's chest. “Your heart…”

“Will focusing on it help?” Lena deliberately slowed her breathing so her heart rate would go down and make it easier for Kara.

“Yes.” Kara worked on tuning out everything except the loud pounding of Lena's heart, right next to her.

Lena stroked Kara's hair and waited. She would simply follow Kara's lead, that was all there was to it.

Kara calmed down as her hearing narrowed to Lena's heart and breathing. Just Lena. She was okay. She was.

Lena felt Kara relax into her arms. “Is it okay now?” she asked softly.

Kara took her hand off her ear and cupped Lena's cheek. “Yeah,” she said, kissing Lena gently.

“So, what are you thinking?” Lena asked when the kiss ended.

“Maybe it was too much,” Kara said. “Maybe we need to try something different.”

Lena nodded. “Okay. Whatever you think will work, just tell me.”

“I'm ready to explode just -looking- at you,” Kara said, “but when I let the feelings bubble up, I can't hold on to the shield.”

Lena sighed. “What worked before?”

“I...didn't feel that deeply,” Kara said after a moment. “I liked him, I liked what we were doing, but I didn't -feel- it like I do with you.”

Lena had no response for this, so she threaded her fingers into Kara's hair.

“I guess I just never...never -lost- myself,” Kara continued. “He did, though. And I liked that. Liked that I could do that.”

“But you said, no one gave themselves to you before.” Lena was confused and she felt a little anxious as well.

“It's true. He didn't give himself to me. He just lost himself. He was happy. And I liked that.” Kara locked her gaze with Lena's. “I have -never- felt the way I do with you before. Not with him, not with anyone. So I'm lost...I just want to be yours, completely, and I don't know how…” Kara dropped her gaze.

“Kara,” Lena managed tearfully before pressing them together in a tight hug.

Kara lost herself as much as she could in how wonderful it felt, once again, to feel Lena's skin against hers. Cool and soft, welcoming and desperately wanted. At that, Kara began to hear her neighbours. She focused back on Lena's heartbeat and willed herself to stay focused.

“What do you need?” Lena whispered.

“Just hold me like this,” Kara breathed. “Please don't let me go.”

“Never,” Lena assured her.

When Kara was focused again, she stroked Lena's back lightly with her fingertips. So soft. So perfect. And Kara only heard Lena's breathing and heartbeat. So she moved on, to kissing Lena's neck and ever-so-gently scraping her teeth across the pulse point, a physical reminder of how to stay grounded.

Lena shivered as Kara delicately nipped at her. “When do I…?” she breathed.

“Hands, maybe?” Kara underscored her point by scratching down Lena's back lightly.

“Okay.” Lena took advantage of the fact that their bodies had separated a little, sliding her hand up to cup Kara's breast.

Kara whimpered, but kept laser focus on Lena's heartbeat. It felt wonderful, and she reminded herself that it was only her and Lena, no one and nothing else.

“Are you okay?” Lena didn't move her hand. She couldn't interpret Kara's response this time.

“Yes, please don't stop,” Kara murmured. “Just...slow?”

“Yes, darling.” Lena slowly moved her thumb across Kara's nipple.

“Yes,” Kara breathed. Heartbeat, breathing, hands, Lena, all Lena, and she could do this.

Lena brushed Kara's nipple with her thumb again and leaned in for a kiss.

Kara lost it for a moment with both sensations at once, but she reminded herself of the grounding she'd been using, and the cacophony faded.

Lena had felt Kara tense, but was relieved at the relaxation shortly after. -We’ll get there. Together.-

Kara rolled over, onto her back. “I think I can do this.”

Lena smiled and pulled herself up, straddling Kara carefully. “Is this okay?”

Kara looked up at Lena and thought she might die from happiness. The cacophony barely had time to begin before Lena's heartbeat, faster now, shut it down. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Lena smiled down at Kara.

“Then please put your hands on me,” Kara whispered, overcome by Lena smiling above her.

Lena cupped both of Kara's breasts and waited for her reaction. Even if they didn't get any further than this, Lena would be happy. Simply touching Kara like this was enough. She desperately wished to go further, but if they couldn't, this was more than enough.

Kara breathed, focusing on how right it felt and also holding eye contact with Lena, which seemed to help her. “Okay.”

“I'm going to try something, and -please- tell me if it's too much, okay?” Lena sought reassurance in trusting blue eyes.

Kara nodded. “Try anything.”

Lena leaned down and licked one of Kara's nipples slowly, looking up at her to see her reaction.

Kara gasped and her hand flew to the back of Lena's neck. -Heartbeat. Breath. Just Lena. Just love.- She took a deep breath and felt her wetness grow. “Yes.”

Lena kissed the nipple, and obeying the hand that pushed her down just a little, took it into her mouth.

Kara let out a series of multi-tonal noises in response, and the cacophony wormed its way back in. “Don't stop,” she whimpered. “Just don't stop.” She longed to press her core against Lena, -beg- for her to stop the ache, but it was still too much.

Lena could again feel the tension in Kara's body, but she obeyed the command, sucking gently and rolling the nipple with her tongue.

Kara grounded herself with what she'd been using, plus focus on Lena's silky hair between her fingers. She'd never experienced this before. Her exes had pawed at her and even squeezed her breasts, but Lena was the first to actually take any time to explore them. And it felt -amazing-, Kara thought. She didn't have words to properly describe it. She didn't have words for much anymore, now that her body was pounding with waves of desire.

Lena let go and moved to the other nipple, giving it the same slow attention. She was in heaven, honestly. Finally getting to truly explore Kara's body, nothing between them, had been a major fantasy of hers for months.

Kara moaned, making sure Lena knew how wonderful and wanted the attention was. But she had to be careful. So careful. She'd never been touched like this, -loved- like this, and she had no idea how to shield effectively.

Lena kissed between Kara's breasts, then carefully pressed another kiss a couple inches down.

Kara's moan was one of slight fear, but she let her hips rock up against Lena's.

“Tell me if I have to stop, babe,” Lena said softly.

“Try? Please?” Kara closed her eyes and used the tickly feeling of Lena's hair falling over her ribs for grounding.

Lena dipped her head down again and laid another kiss on Kara's skin. She took a moment, then went lower.

The moment Lena kissed just below Kara's navel, Kara lost it. It was too much. She choked back the cry, but her hands flew to her ears again as everyone came -in- suddenly, their words and noises clanging around in her skull.

“Oh god, Kara!” Lena pulled up and returned to cuddling.

“I want it so bad,” Kara whimpered. “Why can't I?”

“Ssh, babe, ssh, get it back first,” Lena soothed, pressing Kara's head to her chest again.

Kara breathed and focused on Lena's heartbeat. -Only us. Me and Lena. Only Lena. I love her.- The outside world began to fade away again.

Lena waited til Kara relaxed fully in her arms again before speaking. “I have an idea.”

“Is it we forget this and I go back to making love to you?” Kara asked softly.

Lena's heart broke a little bit at the frightened, tired tone of Kara's voice. “If you want. Or we could rest. But I have an idea, if you're willing.”

Kara looked up at her, feeling herself drown in the beautiful green of Lena's eyes, the sincerity in them. “Okay.”

“You can get yourself off, right?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded. “Yeah, I can. I can shield if it's just me.”

“So why don't you? Touch yourself, and touch me, or whatever you like.” Lena stroked Kara's cheek. “Could we try? I just want you to feel good. With me.”

Kara sucked in her breath. “Are you sure? That doesn't seem fair to you.”

“What isn't fair is the current orgasm tally between us,” Lena said dryly. “And maybe I'm not the one giving it to you, but if I'm here and you're thinking about me, I'll settle for that.”

Kara smiled a little. “Okay.” She sat up. “May I touch you?”

Lena laughed. “Hurry up, will you?”

Kara cupped both of Lena's breasts with her hands and began sucking on her nipples, just like Lena had done to her. She hadn't known it would feel so good.

Lena moaned and arched into Kara's hands. It was absolutely unfair that she couldn't touch too, but she knew it was going to take some time to work up to that. So she gave her body to Kara, hoping that she'd remember she was supposed to give herself pleasure too.

Kara slid her hands up to rest behind Lena's neck, pulling her into a deep kiss. Lena instantly whining with desire into her mouth sent a frisson of -want- straight to her core, and one of her hands went down to tease it further.

Lena smiled as best she could against Kara's mouth as she felt what was happening. She broke the kiss and nuzzled against Kara's ear. “God, you're hot…”

Kara's breath hitched at that. “Yeah?”

“You’re a goddess,” Lena whispered. “I've waited so long for this.”

“Me too,” Kara breathed, doing what she knew would work. She was still very wet from what they had been doing earlier, so it was easy to work herself up again with Lena right there.

“Let me look at you?” Lena kissed just under Kara's ear. She knew it was turning Kara on. “God, I want to put my hands on you right now.”

Kara laid back, Lena following and perching on an elbow. “Keep talking…?”

“You're the hottest woman I've ever seen, babe,” Lena replied. “I can't believe I'm with you. Me. I get to have you, finally.”

“I'm yours,” Kara whimpered. “Tell me more?” She turned her attention to the rising wave within her, giving herself up to it.

“You're so -fucking- hot like this,” Lena continued. “God, Kara, you drive me -crazy-.” She couldn't help it any longer, not with Kara writhing and moaning next to her. She slipped her own fingers inside herself. “Kara, god, watching you do this is killing me, but I love it. Don't stop. Please don't stop. I wanna see you come, -god-.”

Kara wasn't aware of much anymore, just the pulse and the pleasure and Lena murmuring sexy things in her ear. She didn't know what Lena was saying anymore, but it didn't matter. The wave rose and rose, and as she reached the peak, she felt Lena cup her face and kiss her cheek hard. -She loves me!- Kara fell over the edge, her cry soft but intense, and Lena was kissing her face and neck, and her shields were still holding.

When Kara returned to herself, Lena was lying next to her, an adoring look on her face.

“That was amazing,” Lena said softly. “You are -gorgeous-.”

Kara frowned. “But it was all me. Nothing for you.”

Lena laughed gently. “I absolutely went with you.”

“Really?” Kara was confused. She'd felt that she'd gone with Lena the previous night because she'd been the one giving pleasure and soaking up the reactions, but this was different.

Lena smiled. “Yeah.” She held up her hand, showing Kara the evidence. “You came, I came. I couldn't -not-.”

Kara smiled in disbelief. Then, a sudden thought struck her, and she pulled Lena's hand to her, sucking on the fingers Lena had used. -God, she tastes good.-

Lena’s eyes rolled back in her head as Kara's tongue swirled around her fingers. -Jesus, where'd she learn THAT?- She swore that if Kara kept doing that, she'd be ready again in no time.

“Lena, I love you,” Kara said, kissing Lena's fingers and hand. “No one's ever done that for me before. It's wonderful. More than wonderful. I can't find words.” -And Rao, I wanna go down on you now. I can learn.-

“Ssh, babe,” Lena replied, pulling her close again. “I love you more.”

“Can you just call me babe forever?” Kara asked, gazing up at Lena. “I never thought I'd like it. I never did before this. But you...I really want you to.”

Lena smiled. “Anything you want, babe. Anything for you.”

Kara kissed her. “You have to stop saying things I want to kiss you for.”

“Try and stop me.” Lena's smirk was devious.

Kara traced Lena's spine all the way down, resting her hand on Lena's ass. “I have ways.”

“Not unless you double down,” Lena retorted.

“Oh, like this?” Kara grabbed the cheek and squeezed.

“Took you long enough,” Lena gasped. “God, Kara, -more-. I need you to put your damn hands on me like you mean it.”

“Do I get to make love to you again?” Kara smiled. She was in love with the reactions she was getting. Lena--Lena -Luthor-, the subject of all her fantasies--was -hot- for her, and that felt more powerful to Kara than being able to catch a crashing plane midair.

“Babe, you can -fuck- me if you want,” Lena said, nuzzling into Kara's neck. “I'm yours.”

Kara laughed joyfully. “Anything you want.”

“Anything -you- want.”

“I want you to tell me where I'm putting my hands.”

“-All- over me,” Lena said firmly. “Like you -own- me and my body is yours to do whatever with.”

“So a little stronger?” Kara slid both hands down, cupping Lena's ass properly, and squeezed again.

Lena moaned and buried her face in Kara's shoulder. “God, -yes-...”

“Okay,” Kara replied, smoothing her hand down Lena's thigh and hooking her leg around so Lena was truly on top of her. “Then I want you back against the door.”

Lena shivered. “Thought you'd never ask.”

“I'm going to carry you. I've had too many days lately of not being able to hold you.”

Lena smiled. “Anything, babe.” She sat up, letting Kara do the same.

Kara raked her gaze up and down Lena's body, taking in the sight again. “You don't want to know how long I've been imagining -this-.”

“Two years, give or take?” Lena smirked and ran a fingertip around Kara's lips.

“Can't imagine where you got that number from.” Kara wrapped her lips around Lena's finger and sucked hard, laving it with her tongue.

“God, Kara, where'd you learn this?” Lena closed her eyes and let the pleasure rush through her.

“When you want someone you think you can't have,” Kara said softly once she was done, “you resort to things you need to clear your browser history of after you look. And you learn.”

“You looked at porn?” Lena stroked both of Kara's cheeks.

“No. I read erotica.” Kara blushed, and Lena could feel the heat. “Lesbian erotica. And I think I learned.”

Lena smiled. “Better show me what's in those stories, then.” She took Kara's hands and placed them on her waist. “The sooner the better.”

“Can't deny you anything.” Kara slid her hands up quickly to Lena's breasts, leaning in to suck on the nipples.

Lena whined with desire as Kara took control. “Kara…” She let her head loll back, giving herself up to her lover.

Once Kara’d had her fill of that, she pulled Lena close and stood up, carrying her to the door.

Lena resisted rolling her hips into Kara as she was conveyed, since she was scared of causing Kara's shields to go down. When she felt the wood pressing against her back, she relaxed and tried to let her legs drop.

“No,” Kara said. “I can hold you, and I want you like this.” She made sure Lena's legs were wrapped tightly around her, and then she leaned in to bite and kiss Lena's neck.

“Kara!” Lena couldn't help it, her hips thrust against Kara. She was weak and she knew it, but she just wanted Kara to take her again.

“It's okay,” Kara said when nothing in her head started up. “Do that if you want.” One of her hands snaked between them, fingers searching for and finding Lena's center. She rubbed a couple of fingers over it experimentally.

Lena didn't moan this time. She shrieked and tried to press Kara's fingers into her, her hand also sliding between them.

“That's no fun,” Kara smirked, pulling Lena's hand out and pressing her wrist against the door. “You have to let me tease you.”

Lena whined, her hips still trying to thrust against phantom fingers. “Babe, you're killing me.”

“Nah,” Kara said, giving the wrist a little extra squeeze and letting it go. “My studies say you're loving it.” She cupped Lena's cheek, stroking with her thumb til Lena sighed and tipped her head toward it, then went back to lavishing attention on her neck.

Lena moaned softly as Kara kissed her way up her neck and nipped at her ear. She crossed her wrists behind Kara's neck and felt her smile against her skin.

“Keep those right there,” Kara purred, slipping her hand in between their bodies again.

Lena whimpered as Kara stroked her again. “Don't tease!”

“How can you be so wet already?” Kara asked wonderingly as she explored Lena's folds.

“It's for you,” Lena gasped. “You do this to me.”

“I've been an idiot way too long, haven't I?” Kara went just a little deeper, feeling Lena buck against her.

“Still will be if you don't -take- me,” Lena growled. “I -need- you.”

Kara slipped her fingers into Lena. “Pushy.”

Lena keened as the hollow ache was filled. “You're the one who put me here!”

“Yeah.” Kara laid her free arm over Lena, pinning her shoulders back against the door. “I wanna -see- what you look like when you come.” Dirty talk didn't come easily at all to her, but the way Lena moaned in response, she vowed to master the skill.

“God, Kara, don't stop,” Lena panted. She hadn't known it before, but Kara saying things like that ramped her right up.

Kara swallowed. “What? Keep talking, or keep--” She thrust into Lena at that.

Lena shrieked, trying desperately to remain quiet. “Both, both!”

Kara tried to recall some of the things she'd read. “You're so hot for me right now. You want it, don't you?” She thrust into Lena slowly, trying to make it last.

Lena tried to arch herself into Kara, but the arm across her was holding her down, making her whine and roll her hips as best she could. “So bad! Please, Kara!”

“I'll give it to you,” Kara replied, “but I wanna watch you a little first.”

Lena moaned and rolled her head from side to side, letting Kara push into her, fill her. She bit her lip as one thrust was stronger than the others. “Kara, you’re killing me, -please-!”

“Oh, I know what you think you want.” Kara was settling into the role now. She moved her arm just enough to brush her finger across Lena's lips.

Lena keened and pulled Kara's finger into her mouth instantly, laving it with her tongue. -She tastes good,- Lena thought raggedly.

Kara inhaled sharply. She waited for the cacophony, but none came. So she let Lena suck on her finger, unknowingly timing it to the thrusts. “Rao, you -do- want it bad.”

“Mmhmm,” Lena whimpered, not letting up. Kara was inside her twice this way, which was almost orgasm-inducing on its own. She wouldn't last much longer like this. -If she'd just say a few more things…-

“You're exquisite, Lena,” Kara murmured. “Having you for myself is so much better than the dreams.”

Lena whined and rocked her hips harder into Kara's hand, making her need known. She locked eyes with Kara, trying to signal how badly she needed it.

Kara teased her middle finger around Lena's lips, who immediately sucked it in too, moaning with delight. Kara's eyes rolled back in her head briefly, but the shields held.

Lena was almost ready to come, she realized. Two fingers in her mouth, two fingers inside her cunt, and Kara was -pinning her in the air against a DOOR.- All she needed now for Kara to fully own her was to come. So she slammed her hips against Kara's solid hand and body, signaling how she needed it.

Kara obliged, matching the desperate thrusting as best she could. She felt it, Lena was -so- close. Then she remembered something from her reading.

Lena felt Kara's breath next to her ear and whined. Much as she liked it, she knew more biting her neck wasn't going to do it.

“Lena,” Kara intoned, not letting up on the speed or pressure.

Lena moaned. -What is she doing?-

“Lena. I know you want to.” Kara steeled herself. “-Come for me.-”

The unexpected command sent Lena tipping over the edge. She screamed around Kara's fingers, letting herself completely go so the waves crashed down on her.

Kara pulled her fingers out of Lena's mouth and grabbed her jaw firmly, kissing her hard.

Lena wailed into Kara's mouth and tried to coax Kara's tongue to tangle with hers, which it did gladly.

Kara kept up the thrusting, slowing it down the way Lena had asked her to the last time. Their kiss turned languid as the tension left Lena's body, turning to euphoria.

“Oh my god, Kara,” Lena breathed as she laid her head on Kara's shoulder. “You learned all -that- from reading?”

“Yeah,” Kara murmured, relaxing herself and pinning Lena even more against the door, although it was gentle. “Did you like it?”

“I -loved- it,” Lena replied. “It was everything I didn't know I needed.”

Kara nodded. “You okay there, or should we go back to bed?”

“Babe, do whatever you want with me. I'm yours.” Lena smiled. She was so fuzzy and content, it didn't matter to her.

Kara sighed happily. “I want to put you in my bed and just look at you there.”

Lena smirked. “Okay.”

As she laid Lena down into the bed, Kara couldn't help but ask. “Which euphemism was that just now?” She sat next to Lena and looked down at her.

Lena laughed softly, taking Kara's hand and putting it on her breast. “You could call it having sex if you wanted to, but I think it was more on the fucking end of the scale.”

Kara blushed. “So I fucked you?”

Lena grinned. “Yep.”

“What else can I do that you'll really like?” Kara asked, cupping the breast under her hand and marvelling at how wonderful it felt.

“To me, or with me?” Lena's eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Oh, either,” Kara replied airily.

“I want Supergirl to fuck me,” Lena replied easily.

Kara quirked an eyebrow. “Hmm. Let me guess. In your office.”

Lena smiled. “A possibility, yes.”

“Bend you over the desk?” Kara was still playing the role of a dominant woman she'd admired in the stories she read. “I think I'd like that.”

Lena's hips rocked upward involuntarily. “Yes, please.”

“I'll need you to wear something looser than those usual skirts,” Kara continued. “Don't want to get stuck and rip something.”

Lena shivered. “Maybe when we're home you could rip a few things off me?”

“You tell me what's fair game and I will.” Kara ran her fingertips down Lena's body. “If you want it, I want it.”

Lena sighed with desire. “I want Supergirl to fuck me the way Kara fucks me. I want to be hers the way I'm yours now.”

Kara leaned down and kissed Lena. “She'd love nothing better, that's for sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ends here. Sorry about that. Any further attempts didn't go where I wanted them to.


End file.
